Smarties Tantrum

Often as a mom, it's hard to tell where to draw the line with Maggie. Luckily, sometimes she gives me easy challenges.

"Mama, I want to eat my Valentines candy for breakfast."

"Hmm, let me see. NO."

At this very moment, Maggie is in her room in the throes of a tantrum because I would not let her eat Smarties for breakfast. Yesterday, although we didn't give her candy, she managed to acquire her fair share at KinderCare. She brought her little stash home and decided it would make a fabulous morning treat. At first, the discussion was very civilized:

Mama, I want to save my candy for later.

I think that's great.

I want to put my lollipop in the refrigerator.

Sure, we can put it on the shelf by the jelly.

I want my other candy. I want to save it for later. I'll get my step-stool so I can get it down.

Okay, where should we put it to save it for later?

I want to hide it from you. Will you help me hide it? (She crawls under the kitchen table.) Will you help hide me with the chairs?

Are you planning on hiding from me?

Yes.

(And it's important to point out here that Maggie's sense of time and use of words to refer to time is not really developed, so "save it for later" really means "I want to sit here and eat three wrappersful of sugar wafers while you wonder where I've gone.") So, I ask her to give it to me. Again. Again. Finally, I take the candy. AND SHE FLIPS OUT. I tell her that I realize I've just made her very angry, but my empathy quickly dissolves when her red-faced, tear-stained vitriol crosses whatever invisible mommy-line I have drawn in my head (actually, it's when I feel myself getting really angry back at her.)

"Put me down! I don't love you! Put me down! I don't want to pull it together!"

I take her to her room, where I leave her screaming and crying as if I'd just pulled her toenails out AND told her that Santa Claus is a big jolly lie.

As I've been writing this, a sweet-faced little cherub has tapped me on the back. "Mama, I stopped crying! But my eye is still a little wet. Can I have some yogurt for breakfast?"

Start to finish on this adventure, maybe 7 or 8 minutes. Not so bad.

Children need structure. Children love structure. Children crave structure.