Waiting for Jay to Come Back with the Bed

Now that I don't have any happy Hawaii pictures to post, I've been slacking. How do you really follow a trip like that? So, now it's Sunday afternoon and we're trying to get the kids to nap - Right now I'm ignoring the sobbing that's coming from the other end of the house. It's crocodile sobs anyway. We started the day relatively aimlessly - well, I stole the Sunday crossword out of the mailbox and snuck off to Starbucks in the early morning fog while the family slept, and then Jay went to Ric's to cut some trim pieces for the outbuilding when I dragged myself back home. Maggie suggested lunch at IKEA, so off we went, arriving early enough to avoid the noon rush at the cafeteria. I'm tellin' you, $2.49 per kid and more food than they can shove down their little pie holes is NOT BAD. (Did I mention my love for IKEA? I love IKEA. Love it. I love it so much, I can actually tell you the NAMES of the products I'm buying/have bought for the outbuilding. Portis hat rack anyone? Grundtal towel racks?)

The sun is shining, it's warm and all is right with the world - except for the sobbing, previously noted. Since it's so nice out, I won't even go down the road of describing Maggie's well child visit at the pediatrician's earlier in the week - actually the trauma of it is partly what's kept me from posting, but we are relatively well recovered - physically, mentally... well, the emotional scars may stick around for a few more years, but I'm sure we'll all be fine eventually.

On a lighter note, every day at KinderCare, the teacher asks Maggie's class a question and then records every answer on a piece of flipchart paper which is then posted on the wall. They are currently "studying" their community. One of the questions was, "What's your favorite place to eat?" Some kids said, "at home." Others, "grandma's." There were "my friend's house" and "McDonald's" and "the pizza place." Do you know what Mags said? "The Coffee House." Let's just envision that Starbucks manages to survive the economic downturn. If they do, they've got one loyal 4-year old lined up for her own personalized Lifetime Starbucks Gold Card, and her name is MARGARET. Of course, I like to tell myself that Maggie enjoys eating at Starbucks most because it's time when the two of us sneak out early on the weekend and go have quality time alone over some steamed milk (for her) and a big cup of coffee (for me). It's time with me that she loves, right? Not just that I let her have milk pumped full of vanilla syrup...

The crying has subsided, so I think I may steal Jay's glass of wine that he has carelessly left on the counter. He's down the street retrieving the platform for the bed in the outbuilding. Once a place has a bed and a working toilet, it's almost as good as finished, right?

A Night of Gershwin

Jay and I got out Saturday night to go to the symphony, and really enjoyed a light meal and the first half of the performance. See this link for a review. Looks like we were right when we decided the second half would probably be a let-down after the highlight of the night (no dis to Rachmaninoff). Guess we made the right choice to go home, return our babysitter to her house and get to bed. Because we are old and must be to bed before 10:30. But wow, Thomas Lauderdale was fantastic.

Molokai - The End of the Trip

Col: I kind of like how the water line is not quite horizontal in this picture. That's because I had to set the timer and balance the camera on a coconut. Didn't think to bring a tripod, and it's okay that your coconut is not exactly perfect when you're using it as a camera stand.

Col: Packing and packing and hoping I didn't go over the weight restrictions on the big suitcase. I won't miss the pounding surf outside my window at night - like Mags, I find it keeps me up. Jay has the girls at the beach out back while I shove everything into bags - trying to protect seashells and keep the stuff we'll need to placate the girls on the plane tonight available. We have to be out by 10 in the morning and our flight's not till 7 tonight and on a Sunday in Molokai... I'm not sure how we're going to keep our sanity, let alone feed ourselves. Fortitude.

Day after the last day:

Jay: The last day wasn't so bad (considering it could have been a disaster). We did eventually get out around ten and I had a good talk with the housekeepeer, who told us a little more about how the cottages were run (she does a lot of the day-to-day stuff). It would be awesome to be able to stay in a place like that for the season and then have someone like her run the place while you're gone. Oh well.

The last day was spent mostly at On'e Alii Beach (version I to be precise). Not my cup of tea but the girls loved it. The water was about 80 degrees and there was minimal surf. They really tired themselves out in what was one of their best (and most active) beach experiences. We had enough time to waste to allow us to drive to the west side of the island again. We continued way past Papohaku Beach (the three mile long beach) to the end of the road. I believe the beach there is commonly called "Dixie Maru."

Thank god we went because I had completely written off the entire west side. That beach was awesome! Definitely another reason to come back. It was also the most crowded beach: there were at least ten other people on the beach when we were there (See the photos above of the beach and the parking lot).

After a quick stop at the Molokai Pizza Cafe (best dining in town - and kiddie cars!), we started "The Journey." Actually, it wasn't all that physically draining for me since both girls decided I had contracted Hansen's Disease and would not come near me for almost the entire flight. Ellie threw a fit that could easily have been diagnosed as a grand mal seizure. Fortunately, screaming at the top of her lungs for ten minutes after almost 14 hours without much meaningful sleep meant a hard crash on the plane. Col had to contort herself into unnatural positions to support both girls but she proved up to the task and was even a good sport about driving me into work this morning.

Work: I've had two people call me Grizzley Adams and one person called me a Yeti. The entire system office is wondering what kind of relaxed dress code Cam is maintaining in Legal Services.

I missed my birthday cake at the office.

Col: I agree that the last day was actually pretty fun - applying the whole laid back "we're not in a hurry to get anywhere" mentality. Kind of important when you have nine hours to drive to an airport that's 15 miles away. Jay neglected to mention the casualty that occurred at On'e Alii Beach - After we had enjoyed finishing off our Pipeline Coffee Porters, I was following the girls around taking some pictures (because that's what I do), Ellie dropped her glasses on the sidewalk leading to the little wahines room. And then I stepped on them. And broke them.

The flight from Molokai to Honolulu was great fun for Ellie - Maggie sobbed the whole time, "I don't want to leave Molokai!!! I want to go back to our green house!!!" We just kind of let her serve as our family spokesperson. Jay and I kind of agreed that there's nothing we were really psyched to run home to. We'll be back.

The wait for the flight to PDX was long - and the girls got visibly more and more exhausted so that by the time we got on the flight, the breakdown from Ellie was not a total surprise - it was just a matter of how one of them was going to decide to express her exhaustion to the world. It was really not fun to contort myself as Jay described above - at one point, I actually tried making myself comfortable in the 8-inch-wide foot area below the seats, as the girls spread out to fill every inch of seat room. At least they got some rest. Next time, we'll definitely try to avoid the red-eye - even if it means getting ourselves to Maui for a night or something and flying from there. Really glad we kept this little journal! (Thanks for indulging us by putting up with all of these posts... Kind of feels like now that I've got it all on the blog that the vacation is really over. Bummer.)

Ellie can be Ariel...

What?!?! Yesterday, the girls were playing and I said something about being a mermaid, and Maggie announced that Ellie could pretend to be the Little Mermaid. (If Maggie made the rules, she would only allow Ellie to play with toys she didn't want anymore and pretend to be princesses that she classifies as minor royalty...) This power shift is far bigger news at our house than the election results: the sleeping princess raised by fairies without knowing her true birthright has replaced the finned redhead from under the sea at the center of Maggie's universe.

A few weeks ago, as America started receiving its holiday gift catalogs, we got one from a company called eToys. Maggie saw it, perused it, and selected the page of her dreams. (This is how she talks these days - "Mama, will you be the prince of my dreams?") So, she's obsessing about the Disney Princess Sleeping Beauty Styling Head Vanity Set and Accessories. And the Disney Princess Royal Cash Register. And the Disney Princess Shoes 4-Pack - basically, she's chosen page 82. All of it.

She carries her catalog with her wherever she goes. Today when I picked her up at KinderCare, Ms Danielle said, "Maggie and I looked through her catalog today. She flipped through all of the pages until she got to the one she liked, and then she just sat there stroking it." Needless to say, Santa's gotta come through with the vanity with the little styling head or the world will end before 2009. So, Santa's elf who lives at our house did a little research and found that the vanity which lists for $89.99 in the eToys catalog can be had for $30 LESS at Target. (Yay, Target!) So, it's already hiding somewhere at our house. But, back to the point.

Ariel reigned in this house for a LONG time. Maggie's first true love in Princessdom. But no more. Now, instead of lying face up in the bathtub and arranging her wet hair around her head like a floating mane of mermaid locks, she lays out a blanket on the floor, lies down, covers herself with another blanket, lies frightfully still, closes her eyes and calls me to come be the Prince of Her Dreams, kiss her and wake her up. (In this photo, note the tiara that she got yesterday at the dentist resting on her little blonde princess head.)

I never actually returned the Sleeping Beauty video that I got at Costco last month because I had a little inkling that she might come around. Fun times here. I think this year I'm just going to give in to the whole princess thing and allowing us all to embrace our girly sides. Ack. The only little thread that I'm hanging on to is the fact that at least she's not pretending she's Barbie. And she doesn't know anything about High School Musical. Or Hannah Montana. God help us.

Cracking the Nut that is My Daughter's Mind

When we got home from Hawaii, Maggie started doing this totally weird thing every time we tried to put her to bed. We'd get her ready, and then she'd go into this frenzy, emptying her room of pretty much anything she could get her hands on - clothes that were on the floor, random books, small pieces of furniture - even wayward ponytail holders. It was just a bit disturbing in a "what's wrong inside her head" kind of way. We tried things like, "If you leave it in the hall overnight, it will be gone in the morning..." and she'd say, "Okay, I don't want it anymore." This was true of things that had value - both sentimental and $$$. For those things - say a special handmade quilt, when I asked if for sure she wanted me to get rid of it, she'd say, "Can you please put it somewhere safe for me in case I want it when I get bigger?" So, there's a bunch of stuff that's been put away for safe keeping - all the while, Jay and I have been mystified over what seemed to be our daughter's desire to live out her preschool years in the style of a monk who's taken a vow of poverty.

Last night, she said something that stopped me dead in my tracks, made me sit down on the spot and have a Mommy A-Ha Moment: She told me she's been cleaning out her room to make space for her big girl bed. I asked her to repeat herself. She did. If I had been videotaping my face, I'm sure that a giant lightbulb would have appeared over my head. When we were in Hawaii, she and Ellie slept in twin beds (when they weren't sleeping in our bed with us...) I have been floating the idea of a full bed to her - her toddler bed converts - and I guess she just decided to clean the kid stuff out and get the ball rolling. Whew. She's not totally weird.

Although... on a different topic, we went back to the dentist today with the completely ambitious and crazy goal of getting her teeth polished AND x-rayed. We dropped Ellie at KinderCare and drove over. Mags was EXCITED because she actually had a positive experience the last time we were there (she got lots of cheap toys from China, but it's all about quantity, not quality when you're four.) So, we got there and Siobhan the hygienist WASN'T THERE. But the lovely Vera was. (So, let's throw our progress the last time out the window and start all friggin' over.) Unless we want to come back - because, as I was told, "we need to keep Maggie's best interest in mind." Maggie was totally UNCOOL with trusting her chompers to Vera, but stronger than her complete distaste for the kind Vera was her unconquerable and undeniable NEED to get her little body into the Toy Closet. And to get to the Toy Closet, you must actually commit to going through with the visit. Poor Vera was on the verge of giving up when I decided that I would try leaving the room. As soon as Mags had ascertained that I really could no longer see her - "I don't want anyone to look at me..." , she hopped up on the chair, started chatting, laughing, telling stories and opening her mouth while Vera not only brushed her teeth, but also polished her teeth, did a fluoride treatment on her teeth, flossed her teeth, and yes, took not one but something on the order of FIVE x-rays. All the while, I was seated on a chair fit for a three year old behind the wall dividing the "treehouse room" from the "underwater room" trying not to move for fear of throwing off the delicate balance in the universe that was allowing all this action to take place. Of course, once the dentist came in, Vera and I had to leave because when Maggie opens up to talk, she doesn't want anyone to watch. As soon as Vera and I left, Mags started talking to the dentist. I heard things like, "Look at all the stuff I got!" as she showed the dentist her take from the Toy Closet. Then I heard, "The other dentist said I could go back to the Toy Closet and get more stuff!" So, we left with THREE light-up tiaras, various plastic baubles, and enough brushes, floss, and toothpaste to clean the teeth of a village of children for the next six months.

No cavities, all is well... We'll see how she does in six more months. But rock on Dr. Shebani and her people. Once we get done, it is nearly impossible to get her out the door. They are all about, "Stay as long as you want!" It is like a freakin' toy store paradise in there - while Mags was playing following her visit, the "Toy Man" was there unpacking giant boxes from Pottery Barn Kids and letting Mags have first dibs at the new toy refrigerator, shopping cart, toy food (which was actually very nice, although I'm sure frighteningly expensive)... Why would a kid want to leave? Which, I suppose is the point.

Molokai - Day Nine (Saturday)

Note from Col: Ellie has become a coffee fiend like her mother. This morning, she sat there by the coffee pot asking for "fockie." "FOCKIE!!! More FOCKIE!!!" I gave her a few drops in her milk which delighted her and caused her to chug the milk with loud gulping noises usually reserved for frat boys downing beer through a funnel. (This video is actually from Jay's birthday, and he has just opened presents, which included the head warmer thing he's got on. It's for days when he wants to ride his bike in bad weather back at home. He did not wear knit headgear on a regular basis in Hawaii.)



Clouds have been threatening all day. When we got to the beach at the end of the Halawa Road, and Jay crossed the stream of water coming down from the waterfall and headed to the beach on the left. Shortly after they got the gecko kite aloft, a local came down in his old pick-up truck and suggested to me that I call them back. (I, of course, was just standing by the car watching Ellie sleep in her carseat and trying to look engaged and like I was enjoying it. After all, it's not like it's actually a "parking lot" there - It's a "gateway" to the beaches.) Now, when a giant, long-haired, deeply tanned Hawaiian guy approaches and suggests that you to get your family to safety for fear of a flash flood coming down from the daunting cloud-socked waterfall-fed crack in the earth, you call your family back right quick and thanks for the warning. (This article from last Sunday's Philadelphia Inquirer features Lawrence Aki, who may very well be the same guy. Or at least his brother.)








Safe from the dangers of the left beach, Mags and Jay swam for a long time in the high waves of the right black sand beach. Ellie and I walked the beach and played with Pepe, the Molokai dog - who was part pit bull, I think and part Mohican long-haired mongrel. And all casual and very cool.





After a picnic in the sun - as we watched the tide come in and the clouds alternately push to the front of and then ebb back into the triangle created by the sea cliffs - we took the road back to civilization (using the word loosely). Mags crashed in the back of the car, and we decided it was a great opportunity to get her a nap - in the car - it being only the second time she has fallen asleep in the afternoon since our arrival.



We had to go into Kaunakakai to get some Molokai coffee, sea salt and macadamia nuts (not Molokai grown because then we would have had to buy them from Purdy, the crazy nut guy) for Ric. So, the macadamia nuts are probably treated with pesticides, herbicides, fertilizers, growth hormones, conditioner, toner, latex paint, rubbing alcohol and mascara. And, the trees are probably pruned, God forbid. But the nuts are good and from Hawaii. We did spring for some 100% Molokai coffee from Coffees of Hawaii. Why, you may wonder, did we have to go to the Friendly Market today? Because, even though we have an entire day to kill tomorrow before our flight home, the grocery store is not open on Sunday. In fact, nothing is open on Sunday here - you are lucky to find stores open during business hours Monday through Friday, let alone on the Lord's Day of Rest. Of course, Maggie woke up midway to town because Ellie was SCREAMING as part of her cute way of telling us that she is tired. Unfortunately, neither child has slept since. I really hope nap time resumes once we get home. Jay mentioned today that he can't wait to get home in part, just so we can send the kids to KinderCare for a few days.

Yeah. So anyway, we saw some cool snails in the front of the house this morning, AND we saw some nenes on the Halawa Road - right in the area where it says "nene crossing" - and they were banded - and when they made noise, they said "nenenenenene!!!" - so, although we are not bird experts, we're pretty sure about this one. They looked pretty blase about the whole "jump out of the car and take our picture" thing. I wonder if they can fly and are just so well taken care of that they don't want to or if part of the problem with their endangered status is that they're unable or too stupid to fly away when in the face of potential danger. Funny, but right now, Ellie is sitting on the floor talking to herself - she's going back and forth between "Nene!!" and "Cock-a-doodle-doo!!" (There are also a fair number of chickens walking the Kamehameha V Highway in Molokai.)

Jay's Note: What's even more interesting is that when Col is in the presence of nenes, she also goes "nenenenenenenene!"



Col's Note: I'll miss watching the geckos on the windows at night and hearing them chirping from the rafters. I'll miss living in a little house that I can almost keep cleaned up - where there's a place for everything and at the end of the day, everything in its place. And, I'll miss the daily hunt for beach glass during low tide. As I was searching today, a number of different thoughts came to me about beach glass collecting that I think will definitely need to be put into words soon - before I lose the closeness I have right now to the subject. Too tired right now, and I need to get some sleep tonight before the Hell that will be tomorrow night's red eye home. And I'll miss my friends the nenes. NENENENENES!!!

Molokai - Day Eight (Friday)

Note from Col: Morning trip to 20 Mile Beach (so named because it's at the 20 mile marker) down the road (our house is about halfway past marker 18). Ellie actually waded in the waves, and Jay got to do some good snorkeling.




I went into Kanaka... "Town" to get some supplies and look for some sort of souvenirs - I had in my head that I wanted to get some fabric to bring home to Jerri in the hopes that she can replicate the bedspreads they have here for all of us. So, I went to Imamura's store - after waiting around for the woman to get back from lunch and reopen and got fabric enough to do a queen, full and toddler bedspread (assuming Mags will move to a big girl bed at Christmastime). I'll take lots of pictures of the bedspread here to show Jerri. Hopefully, she'll be game. Mags actually saw the fabrics, and miracle of miracles, she expressed her love for the fabric I got for her and not one of the others. She keeps asking for "her purple thing" but I've got it all on the top shelf in our closet.


Spent a good amount of time at the beach out back this afternoon since there was no napping going on. The skies were cloudy off and on and threatening rain, but you know what happens in that kind of weather? Yep, rainbows. Not bad. And, Mags found a pet coconut to carry around. Every day we hear the song, "Gonna wash that man right out of my hair..." at least 20 times (from each girl). Usually, they use water in their act, but today Ellie decided to use sand instead.





Since the kids took no nap at all, by dinner everyone was cranky and I was stressed out (yes) because they were sitting here at the breakfast bar whining for drinks and yogurt and what have you while I was trying to cook spaghetti in a race against time before they passed out. Jay and I decided that it was in our best interest to split the girls up and sleep in different rooms with them in an attempt to get a good night's sleep. Very romantic.
The lost/last puzzle piece was found, the puzzle was completed and it has been put away. I'm glad we did it, glad we finished it and glad it is out of my sight.

Molokai - Day Seven (Jay's 39th Birthday!)

Happy birthday, Jay! Tour of Coffees of Hawaii - including a mule-drawn wagon ride through the coffee plantation which the girls freakin' loved. Even Maggie was laughing and talking despite herself. Ellie, of course, wanted to sit up front and pet the mules.


Worth the cost and effort to go over to the center of the island. In fact, it was probably the best factory tour I've ever been on - very small and intimate - they even ended it with a session in their tasting room. By then, though, the girls (Ellie) had had enough, and despite the best efforts by our guide to entertain her, the bottom line is that a fussy toddler and cups of recently boiling water on a spinning table are simply not a good combination. (The post-a-nut touristy thing, not so worth it - at least for us. At one post office, they were all out of nuts, so they sent us to another that was closed for lunch from 12 to 12:30. As we put off naptime to sit and wait for the post office person to return from lunch, we got a little impatient and drove off at 12:38. I get the whole "Slow down, it's Molokai" philosophy, but I still really believe in answering the phone and being open when you're supposed to be. It's hard to hang loose with two tired kids in the car.)

A lovely late afternoon ride in the car to dinner and sunset at Hotel Molokai (where a reservation was recommended, although there were maybe oh, 20 free tables around us - and where we finally gave up trying to make a reservation over the phone because they NEVER answered...) - awesome sunset, good music, decent food, not bad service. Stray cats. Stray dog. Fidgety kids - but I have seen them behave MUCH worse, and besides, we'd snuck some more grown-up time while the kids watched Looney Tunes earlier in the day. So, really, all was fine.

Molokai - Day Six (Wednesday)

Col: Didn't leave the property. Jay and Mags went to Sandy Beach for a bit. Ellie and I did puzzles and sang songs until she got tired. Jay and I are addicted to the 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle that now lives on the kitchen counter. I hope we only lose one full day to it. My back hurts from leaning over it.

Molokai - Day Five (Tuesday)

Col: Kalaupapa Overlook (where you can see the town that served as the colony for the unfortunate souls with leprosy - and Father Damien. There is no road to the town - riding down switchbacks on mules is the most common way of getting there - and the remaining residents, who have chosen to stay there, prohibit anyone under age 16 from visiting... so no trip to the former leper colony for us). Mags took some of these pictures!

Also, there's another trail at the Kalaupapa Lookout that leads to THE MOST MAGNIFICENT PHALLIC ROCK IN HAWAII - because there are so many. Kind of like the largest ball of twine in Kansas. I do believe that Molokai also boasts the largest lined reservoir in Hawaii - or the US - or maybe the world. Oahu may have Waikiki and Pearl Harbor. But they don't have the phallic rock. (Anyway, I don't for a minute doubt the power of the thing, so I'm hoping the fact that Mags is only 4 means we don't have to worry about becoming grandparents just yet.)

We also went to Purdy's Macadamia Nut Farm today, but I'm going to let Jay write about the nut farm. He needs to get it all out as therapy. Let's just say that I don't think it's coincidence that the word most associated with the guy who runs the macadamia farm is "NUTS."




Jay: what a bummer. I know the guy who owns and runs the place must mean well or else he wouldn't open the place to tourists for free (god knows nothing else in Hawaii is free). But really, you have to be a little less . . . oppressive. Great, it's all natural and we get to see the nut in its natural environment. It's wonderful to know that the nuts are harvested 12 months out of the year (or is it just 11 like the flier says?). But if we don't have any deeply insightful questions about macademia nuts, don't keep harping on about the need to ask questions. Especially when we are trying to herd our two children, who don't give a shit about your nuts. And don't you visitors dare ask any questions about a topic he may have already addressed. And god forbid you make a light comment about being around later in the week if you experience some divine inspiration and come up with a question after you leave. Because you are visiting a working farm and they don't have time. Except if they are taking the time to try to educate the stupid haole. If there are so many interesting questions to ask about the nuts, wouldn't they have been asked (and answered) a million times already, thereby giving you the ability to preemptively give us the information? I should have asked that question. I thought I had gotten past this experience. But here I am writing this 36 hours after we returned to The Prairie and here I am as vitriolic as ever. Gotta relax.

Col: Did I mention that a GIANT FUCKING CENTIPEDE SCARED THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME? I saw him slither across the floor as I snuck out of bed to see who got booted from Dancing with the Stars (and because I still had to take my medicine - Note to drug developers: Can't we do better than a ten day course of penicillin for strep throat?) Of course, he went right under the TV and into the stack of kids' toys and books. I immediately went into a cold sweat, unbarred the sliding door and tried to dislodge him from his hiding place with the giant PVC pipe that we use to wedge the door closed. He was nowhere to be found, and my family was asleep. I tried to wake up Jay to get him to agree that it was scary and then to tell me that we were in no actual danger. He was kind of less than responsive. Then, I saw the fucker again on the wall of our bedroom - he was heading east, apparently. I grabbed Jay with a death grip on the left ankle and demanded that he rise up and kill the beast. He said, "It's just a gecko." I hissed, "That is NO fucking gecko." It looked all psychedelic colored and like the caterpillar in Alice in Wonderland except not all trippy and much more sinister. Jay grabbed the waste basket from the bathroom and somehow, with the delicacy of a black lab sent to retrieve a fallen bird, he plucked it from the wall, lowered it into the waste basket with a wisp of toilet paper and handed me the trash. "Put it outside." And with that he was back to sleep. I am not kidding when I say I about passed out trying to carry the STILL VERY ALIVE (for some reason) centipede out to the wilds to release it. I flung open the sliding door and cast out the be-legged varmint along with the toilet paper (which I reasoned was biodegradable, after all). Now I am afraid to walk in the back yard for fear of running into the big guy. Needless to say, I did not pause to take a photograph. But, he was at least five inches long and MEAN. (Here's someone else's photo/story - (Ours was bigger than 5 inches, or my name's not Mama.)