Finishing off the Damn Top Ten List - #9 and #10

(photo from the OBT website)

#9 on the Top Ten List was supposed to be a long description of the logistical nightmare it was getting Maggie to the OBT Nutcracker in the ridiculous snowfest before Christmas, but that was long ago, and I want to get this blog back into the present day. So, I vote for just saying "bygones!" and letting it go. Suffice it to say the adventure involved exchanging tickets for a less treacherous day, stuffing my family into a pickup truck as if we were circus clowns, bribing ushers at the Keller auditorium, streetcars, very fancy dresses, long walks on icy sidewalks, and even a certain person in my beloved circle of relatives peeing in public on a Portland thoroughfare. That, and the realization that the first act of The Nutcracker is really pretty boring - It's not good until the snow falls and the Sugar Plum Fairy gets her groove on. Okay, enough of that until next year.

#10 was supposed to be about all of my favorite gifts from the holidays. I think I'll just save those posts for individual ones at later dates as I've got time. I'm desperate to get back into real time on this blog. So, goodbye, Top Ten list. Hello, February.

Top Ten List #8: The Great Toy Purge

For Christmas, I got Ellie and Maggie a little wardrobe from IKEA in which to keep all of their dress-up gowns, shoes, tutus, wings, jewels, hats, tiaras, and sundry accessories. They loved it. However, within 5 minutes of realizing it was a present, they had emptied out its contents and started using the two sides as individual dressing rooms. Yes, they had to contort themselves like circus performers to fit inside the cubbies, but it was fun. For them. For me, I saw a piece of furniture designed to bring order to our lives instantly reduced to a backdrop for a large supply of pink frilly crap on the floor.

For a bit, I'd put it away at night. And, I'd try to get Maggie to clean it up. Have you ever tried to get the wind to stop blowing? Leaves from falling to the ground in autumn? The sun from rising in the morning? It didn't work (although Ellie will actually clean stuff up on her own with just a little prompting.) But, one kid straightening up isn't good enough because the other one can always come along behind her and dump the box of Legos or toss an entire bookshelf on to the floor because she thinks her favorite bracelet might be in there behind the books. So, one day while they were at KinderCare, I got out a few giant trash bags and moved everything that was not put away into the bags and then into storage bins in the garage (see above). I figured they'd come home and freak out. But, do you know what? Nobody freaked out. I don't think anyone noticed. This was a few weeks ago, and honestly, we're all okay.

There's some good stuff out there. Some of it is stuff that I'd actually like to put back into circulation. Her freakin' Sleeping Beauty dress is out there! And Ellie's Cinderella dress! And the accessories for Maggie's Sleeping Beauty vanity! It does not work without the accessories, but she has not asked for them even one time. Not one. In fact, the other day, Maggie came to me and told me that I could make all of her toy food "get lost like my other stuff." So I did - that's the little white bin on the top. The thing of it is, that even with the piles of stuff in the garage (much of which was new at Christmas), there's still enough stuff to make this happen (see below). I asked Maggie today, "If you could just keep three toys, what would they be?" She couldn't even name three things - she just said, "My big girl bed." Am I doing something wrong here?

Top Ten List #6 and #7: Parental Outings

Jay and I are pretty committed to giving experiential gifts to grown-ups these days, since, as previously mentioned, we don't really NEED anything and it's always good to reduce the amount of unneeded, although well-intentioned STUFF that piles up around the house. Plus, who really remembers where that third green sweater came from? But, you're always going to remember the fun day when you went to _______ (fill in the blank) with ________ (fill in the other blank). So, Jay and I went snowshoeing, and I took day trips with Mom and Pops, too.

Mom and I went to Bonneville Hot Springs for a spa day. They were selling $100 gift cards at Costco for $80 a pop, so I stocked up on a few and studied the spa menu. After Christmas, the weather was better than it had been before, but Bonneville is out in the gorge and getting there is a hilly, twisty ride where, on occasion, it's possible to envision your car sliding on black ice and plunging a few hundred feet down the gorge and into the Columbia River. For some reason, I booked us for appointments at something like 9 in the morning on a Sunday, so it was a somewhat rushed trip to get out there, but once we were there, it was really pleasant. The building itself looks a little dated from the outside, but the spa was okay, and the people were super-nice. I have had my share of facials and massages, but never before have I had a private soak in the magical mineral waters of a hot spring. A quick facial plus a luxurious pedicure, and I was feeling pretty good. Mom had a massage and pedicure. We ate a relaxing lunch overlooking the garden and outdoor soaking pool and then headed home. The most stressful part of the visit was choosing the color of polish for our toenails.

Pops and I had a Carleton Watkins day - Portland Art Museum had what proved to be a hugely popular exhibit called Wild Beauty, featuring the history of photography in the Columbia River Gorge. There were alot of photos by Watkins and his contemporaries, but the exhibit went up through more current times including the harnessing of the river's power when the dam was built at The Dalles (and the Native American fishing grounds and many petroglyphs were sunk under the river). We also went to the Oregon Historical Society (quickly), had a great lunch across the park at South Park and watched as a downed tree was removed from a third story window of a nearby building.

And I didn't have to buy a single thing this year from L.L. Bean.

Top Ten List - #5: Show Tunes

Okay, this video is long and probably more than a little obnoxious unless you know and love my children. I did not coerce them into wearing swimsuits in the bathtub - that is completely their idea because it makes them feel more like mermaids. (It did provide the chance to make a post-able video, though...) I did try to get a shorter clip, but the song they chose to sing was their own version of "The Song That Doesn't End" - if you are fans of Lambchop (Here's your friendly warning - Do NOT click on that link...). So anyway, getting them to learn these songs takes some time, but adds so much pleasure to our lives. Our kids don't sing Barney songs. No, they pretend they're Mitzi Gaynor. And that's really one of the things that makes parenting these girls so much fun. We are currently working on the Mamma Mia songbook...

Top Ten List - #4: Snowshoeing on Mt. Hood

This year, we decided to take advantage of the fact that my parents were here on New Year's Eve to actually go out and do something that required us to stay up until midnight. This is no small task for us - It had not been achieved or even "neared" since we became parents. For Christmas, I had asked Jay what kind of experiential gift he might like since neither of us could really think of another "thing" we needed. I don't know what kind of answer I expected, but the answer I got was, "I'd really like to go snow camping with you." Then, the love of my life went on to describe his prior snow camping experiences which included anecdotes like, "Yeah, one night Myles went too far off our beaten down area when he had to pee and he sunk in the snow up to his neck." And, "You know when you're snow camping, you can't build a fire because it will sink into the snow." I don't know where I fall on the general population's scale of cold tolerance, but I can tell you that upon first hearing the Robert Service poem The Cremation of Sam McGee, I felt like his kindred spirit. I like camping. I LOVE my husband. I am willing to try new things. But, I'm just, shall we say, "wary" about digging a snow cave and snuggling in for a sound night of sleep.

I really did want to take the opportunity to do something fun outside in the snow, though. So, I started Googling and found an outfit out of Government Camp that does snowshoeing outings near Mt. Hood Skibowl. I arranged for us to take part in the New Year's Eve snowshoeing adventure, complete with a slopeside view of the fireworks over Skibowl. A four-hour outing start to finish, and then a warm night at the Resort at the Mountain down the hill in Welches.

We had gotten to the Columbia River when I realized I had forgotten my camera. I kicked myself for that. We had gotten to Gresham (about half an hour from home) when I realized I had forgotten my hiking boots. That one was kind of an insurmountable issue, so we made the trip back with me feeling like a complete idiot and with Jay not saying much to prove me otherwise. Fortunately, the evening was young, and we were able to make the trip back, get dinner at Edgefield, and head toward the mountain right as the snow started. By the time we reached our room, it was starting to accumulate. By the time we got to Government Camp, the snow was coming down hard, the revelers were coming out in force and we were starting to worry about how we'd get the truck back down to our hotel at 2 in the morning without killing ourselves or being killed by some drunken snowboarder in a Vanagon or something.

Opting to live in the moment, we found Mt. Hood Adventure and met up with our leader and group. There were around a dozen in our party, and we got into the untrodden snow behind skibowl at around 10:30 at night. It was pretty magical because the lights of Skibowl illuminated the sky enough so we weren't completely in the dark, but with the snow falling steadily and with the trees draped in heavy blankets of white, it wasw easy to imagine we were in a more remote location than we actually were. After an hour or so, we got to a spot where we were able to build a fire (in a wide-lipped metal bowl to prevent the sinking fire issue) and settle in for hot chocolate and fireworks in the snow. It was awesome! The walk back was much easier than the trip out since we had padded down a "sidewalk" that we just retraced. We did (slowly) make it back to the room in time to crash sometime before 3 AM. The resort's restaurant had a truly wonderful all-you-could-eat New Year's brunch for a reasonable price with bottomless mimosas included (!!) Since we'd been toasting with hot chocolate and Rice Krispy treats at midnight, we felt entitled to indulge with our blintzes and smoked salmon. Then, we headed toward home in heavy rain, making it just hours before a huge landslide blocked the main highway between Portland and the mountain for days. Yep, a new year's to remember for once. Let's hope the year itself is as good. Maybe snow camping will make it onto the calendar.

Top Ten List #3 - The Blizzard of Ought Eight

It started out as novel - Snow! In the Portland area! At freakin' Christmas! There were snowball fights, exuberant bursts of laughter, hopes for a white Christmas... Then, it just kept coming. And sticking. And freezing. Smiles turned downward. Chains were mounted. Portland closed down for about a week (except for Oregon Ballet Theater, but that's another post). No work. No shopping. No separation from one's family except when locked in desperation in the bathroom for a few minutes.

For the most part, we did all right. It had the makings of a survival novel, but alas, we did not need to call in Sebastian Junger to write about our storm. Nobody died or had to eat cat food or go without power. We did not need to burn the kids' toys for heat. In fact, there were blessedly few arguments, although I don't doubt that each adult present quietly cursed at least one of the others at some point. The biggest inconvenience was that we all had to pile into the truck if we wanted to get off the property - so getting to Starbucks was a bit of a bitch. And, it did cause Christmas to have a bit of a "What, another day at home with my family? How quaint!" kind of feel to it.

This video is from a ride Jay and I took up into the hills just east of us. It was lovely and will be my favorite video in August when I need to cool down.

Top Ten List #2: The Big 4-0

Okay, it's not so bad. Jay asked what I wanted, and I said to get my hair colored (haven't gotten around to that) and to see my dear friend Erica - who lives so close, but so far away in Portland. I got my annual ice cream cake - which is always so tasty, although I had made it clear (albeit to Mags) that I really wanted a homemade carrot cake. I also asked for a surprise party, but I suppose that's a bit contradictory. I was actually afraid I might wake up miserable, but the best cure for that is Jazzercise. At my Friday morning class, I brought one of the girls' tiaras to wear and we had a small little snack after class. My friend Jen brought balloons and some fruit, and a very kind couple brought me a potent lavender sachet (which is currently scenting my entire closet). On Saturday morning (the actual big day) I went to AM Jazzercise at the middle school. I am lucky in that Saturday morning Jazzercise is an instant estrogen party. It was packed, there was singing and well wishes and even a goofy birthday princess headband.

Later, Erica and Tim came up and we drank champagne and then all went to Pizzeria 360. Erica gave me a beautiful bunch of flowers - including the one in the photo, and we have planned a spa getaway day in PDX. Jay got me an online subscription to the NY Times Crossword. And then bedtime came and the next day dawned and so on and so on and... here we are.

Top Ten List - #1: Back to School

Yeah, I'm not going to work backwards here. My blog, my rules - The Top Ten List starts with #1. So here's the scoop - the number 1 thing that's been occupying my time in the last few weeks and keeping me so busy that I am thinking of writing down the kids' names so I don't forget is the fact that I'm officially back in school. No more Radclyffe-Schmadclyffe stuff. I am a contact center consultant no more. I am "in training" to get into a program to become a dietician - someday on the distant horizon. (It's a FAR more intense process than you might imagine, but I guess that's good.)

So, I found this program through Kansas State University (Go Wildcats!) that I can do through distance learning. Once I complete that, I have to do an internship, go for licensing, etc... but first things first. In order to get into that program, I need to meet a number of pre-requisites (that involve such things as chemistry and anatomy and physiology and - needless to say - not the type of classes one is likely to find on the transcript of a history/art history major). So, I am now enrolled at just about every community college in the Pacific Northwest and am deep in the process of getting up to speed.

But it's the chemistry at Clark College (Go Penguins!) that's taken over my life. I do have vague memories of high school chemistry - and they are not pleasant. I think (well, I know) at that point, I approached chemistry with: absolutely no interest at all, a bit of a vague belief that girls weren't supposed to be good at science, and a burning dislike for my teacher. So, needless to say, I don't remember much. But now I am 40 years old, have a specific reason for taking the class, and possess a strong determination do better than the slouched-over teenagers in my class. So, all is well. Yes, my instructor is younger than I am. Yes, I will have to don goggles and trust that said slouchy teenagers will not play games with acid near me in the lab. Yes, I am trying to learn the oxidation states of various polyatomic ions today. But I can do it. Right?

I actually carry my college transcripts around with me when I go to chemistry in case I need to remind myself that - say it with me - "I am good enough. I am smart enough. And, gosh darnit, people like me!"

And, in my ever-growing list of role modeling behaviors for the kids - I have taken to saying often - "Sorry, I can't play with you until I finish my homework."

Planning to get back in the saddle

I have to say it was nice to give myself a month off from the blog - although I love it here! I have now been officially sucked into the Facebook world (thanks to dear Molly who I had previously thought never used computers), and I feel a renewed interest in updating and maintaining an informative and entertaining presence on the internet, as if there's great demand for such a thing. So, I'm planning to post a concise summary of the last month in the form of a kind of jjjuggles Top Ten List of things of note from the last month and then hop back into regular posting. Check back in a day or two, and good luck to me as far as doing what I say I'm going to do. Here are a couple of pictures of the princesses or fairies or whatever you'd like to call them.