She Did NOT Eat the Proboscis

What am I going to do about this little girl who has started LYING about every blessed thing in her life?

Maggie, did you make this mess?

No, Ellie did it.

Ellie was with me.

Papa did it.

Papa is at work.

Farley did it.

Farley is outside. Besides, throwing princess dresses around isn't really what old Labrador retrievers like to do.

YOU did it.

Try again.

The giant did it.

What giant?

He's over there, under the blanket.

Let's go look... I don't see any giant.

He's invisible...

So the invisible giant took all of your princess stuff and threw it all over the floor.

He was looking for the Sleeping Beauty princess shoes.

Of course he was.

So, yesterday, we played Cootie. She gets it, and we can actually get through a game if Ellie's not around. But, clean up is a bitch. Let's see... There are 4 cootie bodies, 4 heads, 4 toppers (hats, antennae, etc.), 4 mouths, 4 sets of eyes, and 24 legs. The sheer number of parts makes it a "That Which Must Only Be Used with Adult Supervision" toy. But alas, Mama had to go to the bathroom. When it came time to clean up, we were one curly tongue-like part short.

Maggie, have you seen the missing Cootie piece? It looks like a curly tongue.

I ate it.

You're kidding. I didn't hear any choking or hear any whining.

No, I had to eat it, I was sick and it made me feel better.

Did you chew it?

No. Just swallowed it whole.

Okaaaay. Well, I guess we'll just have to see what happens.

This morning, magically, it showed up on her bedsheet - and not through any indescribable in-one-end-and-out-the-other process.

I am grateful for her active imagination, and yet worried (and not a little pissed off) about her constant propensity to fib to me about the littlest thing. Hoping it's just a phase.


And this little stuffed puppy? He gets put on the blog because his name is "Little Easter Puppy Who Found the Eggs on the Back Porch." This has been his name for a few days running, even though it requires a deep breath to get the whole thing off one's lips. This is notable because 1. It is not yet Easter, so no eggs have been found anywhere. 2. We don't have a back porch.