I Was Really Trying to Get a Photo of Her Smiling...

Erica and I went to see Heather B. Armstrong (aka Dooce) at Powell's last night. It was a mob scene. Tried to get a picture of Heather smiling, but... well, I like when people use their faces to help tell stories.

I'm thinking this was during a pregnancy boob story...

And here, probably instructing the partners of pregnant women in preparation for the sexual dry spell that will potentially follow the impending birth of their bundles of joy. Good stuff.

Grainy photos - Didn't want to use the flash...

Because in March, Dandelions are Just Wildflowers

Princess bouquets being held as if two princes are waiting for their brides at the end of the driveway.

Happy Cat and Frontline

Isn't this cat cute? She looks like someone took a Siamese cat body and stuck some spare parts on her - like a game of Cootie gone awry. Her head, legs and tail look like the ghost of my old Fred Cat - except for her beautiful blue Siamese eyes. She hangs around the neighborhood, and over time her circle has shrunken and shrunken and shrunken some more so that now her life is mostly lived on our property. Somewhat surprisingly - or at least completely without premeditation - we have come to really like her alot. She is, after all, really Happy (thus, the name). She's not a pushover like Atticus - no dog in a cat's fur. She will offer up a cautionary nibble when she is offended by a certain touch, for example. But, we would like to have her hang out with us in the house - especially when she positions herself outside the front door, stands up on her rear legs and plaintively cries, "meeew, meeeeew!"

But, I think Happy Cat has some pesky fleas. We dug out some Frontline for cats from the cabinet to give her a good dose, and then went online to see how long it would take until the pests would be an issue no more. Here is what the fine folks at Frontline say about how long it takes for the product to be effective:

Kills up to 100% of existing fleas in less than 24 hours

Well, let's look at that proclamation a bit - UP TO 100% in less than 24 hours. So, basically, this product might exterminate all unwanted critters in a flash. OR, IT MIGHT NOT WORK AT ALL. Who the hell wrote that? So, Happy Cat's banished for at least a few days - or until I see the telltale rear leg stop scratching away at her ear.

She Did NOT Eat the Proboscis

What am I going to do about this little girl who has started LYING about every blessed thing in her life?

Maggie, did you make this mess?

No, Ellie did it.

Ellie was with me.

Papa did it.

Papa is at work.

Farley did it.

Farley is outside. Besides, throwing princess dresses around isn't really what old Labrador retrievers like to do.

YOU did it.

Try again.

The giant did it.

What giant?

He's over there, under the blanket.

Let's go look... I don't see any giant.

He's invisible...

So the invisible giant took all of your princess stuff and threw it all over the floor.

He was looking for the Sleeping Beauty princess shoes.

Of course he was.

So, yesterday, we played Cootie. She gets it, and we can actually get through a game if Ellie's not around. But, clean up is a bitch. Let's see... There are 4 cootie bodies, 4 heads, 4 toppers (hats, antennae, etc.), 4 mouths, 4 sets of eyes, and 24 legs. The sheer number of parts makes it a "That Which Must Only Be Used with Adult Supervision" toy. But alas, Mama had to go to the bathroom. When it came time to clean up, we were one curly tongue-like part short.

Maggie, have you seen the missing Cootie piece? It looks like a curly tongue.

I ate it.

You're kidding. I didn't hear any choking or hear any whining.

No, I had to eat it, I was sick and it made me feel better.

Did you chew it?

No. Just swallowed it whole.

Okaaaay. Well, I guess we'll just have to see what happens.

This morning, magically, it showed up on her bedsheet - and not through any indescribable in-one-end-and-out-the-other process.

I am grateful for her active imagination, and yet worried (and not a little pissed off) about her constant propensity to fib to me about the littlest thing. Hoping it's just a phase.


And this little stuffed puppy? He gets put on the blog because his name is "Little Easter Puppy Who Found the Eggs on the Back Porch." This has been his name for a few days running, even though it requires a deep breath to get the whole thing off one's lips. This is notable because 1. It is not yet Easter, so no eggs have been found anywhere. 2. We don't have a back porch.

Life with Little Girls

...somehow I think we've reached the age when life is fundamentally different between boys and girls. That phone ringing at the end? That was their agent.

A Few Pearls from Mags

Spin Art: We have a nice spin art machine. It was a gift from Jay one year when I asked for one. And when I say it's nice, I mean I could do the birthday party circuit and it would hold up. Every now and then, when the weather's nice, we enjoy taking it out on the porch and getting creative. Problem is, we end up with stacks of spin art paintings. I keep them neatly piled on a shelf, but one day they ended up spewed all over the floor of the great room. When I discovered them, I yelled, "Maggie!! Where did these come from??!!"

"Oh, Mama. They came from our imaginations!"

Baby Chicks at Wilco: The other day, Jay took the girls to see the baby chicks and ducks at Wilco. They keep them in gated little pens with heat lamps, and they are pretty cute. After everyone got home, I asked what the baby chicks said.

"Mama, they didn't say anything. They didn't eat their alphabet soup." (Yes, she is a little familiar with Martha the Talking Dog.)

Finding a Man: After watching Beauty and the Beast, in which the beast at the end turns into a handsome prince with long flowing locks:

"I need to find me a nice guy with good hair." Girl's got her priorities straight. Of course, if you check out the prince at about 3:30 into the video, you'll see that "good hair" is pretty much a Fabio do... I asked her if she wanted to find one so she could marry him (because she tends to frame relationships in Disney princess terms). She said, "No, not so I can marry him. HE has to marry ME."

Deep sigh of relief and a cold beer

Finished my last final of the term today, and will be resuming life shortly. So, all those things I've been meaning to blog about should be coming soon. Wow.

Lincoln's Pocketwatch

Here's an interesting story - the kind I think we need more of these days. Nobody's lost their home, been scammed or suffered any kind of unfortunate illness. Nothing remarkable. Just kind of fun to read over a cup of coffee. (Photo from FoxNews - not that I read FoxNews regularly over coffee, mind you.)

Rainbows and Potty "Humor"

Yesterday was one of those days where the sun shines crisply and the next thing you know the puffy gray rain clouds roll in and let loose with ten minutes of rain and then the sky clears up. This almost always results in a plump rainbow off the east side of our house. At one point, the rain was coming down while the sun was out in the yard, so I called Maggie outside to look at the sky.

I let her sit on the banister of the porch while I hugged her around the waist from behind to keep her from falling. As we looked for the rainbow, she snuggled back into me, and I gave her a squeeze. She looked up at me and asked, "Mama, can we just stay like this forever?"

Me: "That would be nice wouldn't it?" (I plant a little kiss on top of her adorable blonde head.)

Mags: "Mama, what if you had pee pee on your head?! Ha ha ha!!! That would be gross!" Yep. And then the moment was over.