jjjuggles

Five!

2009-10-14T22:58:00.000-07:00

Dear Mags,

I’m feeling a little over-full from dinner tonight, and it’s reminding me of five years ago when I was about to go into labor with you. Five years is a pretty long time, especially since I really have no concept of what life was like before you arrived. When I try to remember the me I was before you were around, it’s kind of like looking back at a different person, so much of who I am now revolves around being a mom to you and Ellie. You surprise me every day – sometimes the surprise hits me when I realize that you and Ellie have cut your own hair or eaten a whole tin of Altoids or drawn tattoos on yourselves with marker. Today I found the mechanism for a door knob – the part that goes inside the door – under your bed. (?!?) But, more often than not, the surprise is the kind that leaves me nearly stunned with the wonder of how big, how smart, how beautiful and how unique you are.

Yesterday, I bought your Halloween costume – Snow White this year. I was decidedly NOT surprised that you chose a Disney princess as your costume of choice. I was surprised at the fact that you chose Snow White. You have never seen that movie, to the best of my knowledge, unless the babysitter snuck it in there one night while we were off at the symphony (because your father and I are VERY cultured). You tend to be a top-tier princess fan – Ariel, Cinderella. Snow White is more of a classic. She doesn’t say a lot, isn’t all that feisty, and she’s very kind to the dwarves. I like that you went a little off of mainstream. But, back to the shopping trip. I went without you and Ellie because I wanted to have a chance to THINK if necessary, so I bought everything without having you try things on. I went to Target in the hopes that they would have both the Snow White costume you had requested and a pink princess dress because (again, to my surprise) Ellie chose to be a princess but not one from a Disney movie – just one with a pink dress. Anyway, I found both dresses (and the angels sang) AND two pairs of sparkly shoes – pink for Ellie and red for you. You had admired the same shoes months ago, but I had refused to buy them because at the time, I didn’t see the need for you to possess red sparkly shoes. It’s a good thing, too, because your feet have grown. I showed you the shoes this morning, and immediately you said, “Those are the shoes I wanted a long time ago!” And, there you have it – me standing there stunned that you are old enough and smart enough to remember a shopping trip that had to be in July. You have a mind like a steel trap. Then, I had you try the shoes on, and God bless you, if you could have WILLED them to fit, you would have. But, Honey, these are shoes for Halloween and we are actually going trick or treating this year (for the first time ever) – Your shoes need to be comfortable. Eventually, after getting your foot stuck in the ill-fitting sparkly shoes (like Anastasia and Drizella when the guy comes with Cinderella’s glass slipper), you admitted that they probably wouldn’t work. Then, you promptly hid them under a pillow in the back corner of my closet. You did show me where they were and trust me to go in search of a bigger pair today (which I did – and found some – and the angels sang again, even louder than yesterday). When you and Ellie got home from preschool today, you tried on the new shoes and they fit (my surprise at the size of your feet is huge – as are your feet themselves). You then tried on your costume, showed Ellie her costume, helped her put her shoes and dress on and danced about in shared delight with your sister. Neither of you coveted the other’s dress or shoes (knock on wood and register more Mommy surprise – yay!). I’m looking forward to the coming year.

I think four was kind of tough. You developed a very strong head, which I’m sure will serve you well, but which at times drove me BONKERS. Thankfully, along with that new-found assertive opinionated persona, you also set aside the crippling shyness that we’ve dealt with for so long – well, maybe you didn’t set it aside, but you are much better at communicating with people – even in the presence of your Papa and I than you used to be. Thank goodness. Fortunately, (knock on wood again) I think in the last couple of weeks, I’ve seen you actively choose to be a nicer girl on many occasions. I believe that you’re actually getting to an age where you realize what it means to elect to be kind. You have kids in your class that are not considerate or well-behaved, and you tell me about them and how you don’t like to be around them. I enjoy hearing this stuff because hopefully it’s molding you into a thoughtful human being and teaching you to steer clear of ne’er-do-wells. Also, I think you’re really honing your critical thinking skills. In fact, you have developed what I consider a pretty impressive ability to reason with the best of us (although I have to tell you that if I say, “Because I’m your mom and I said so,” it will always trump any argument you can provide no matter how well-considered it may be).

You are really into art at the moment – and learning your letters and writing, writing, writing. Five is going to be the year you learn to read, and that is so exciting. Once you can read, you can begin your quest for world domination – or whatever. I can’t wait to watch those doors open up for you. I also think the art thing is interesting. I don’t remember ever having a great interest in art – I’m not sure why. I’m glad you do. And cooking! Now that we’re finishing up the kitchen remodeling project we’ll be able to cook together even more. I am so proud of you when you help me cook breakfast or dinner. I love how careful you are and how intently you listen and participate in making our food. You can crack an egg without getting shell all over! Rock on, Sister.

Your Papa and I have both noticed that you are developing a knack for turning phrases that are colloquial and appropriate to the situation. I don’t know how that happens in the brain of a kid, either, but it makes you seem like a little adult and very smart. I wish I could think of something you’ve said, but I guess you just stop me dead in my tracks when you do it, and I forget to remember.

Anyway, this year will be a big one. By your next birthday, you’ll have started school and that will be that. I wish you fabulous things for your five-hood. And I look forward to getting to know the unique individual that you’re becoming and becoming and becoming with each waking moment. I’ll keep trying to be the best mom I can be. I love you! Happy birthday, Darlin’.

Love, Mama

Gentle

2009-10-10T22:47:00.000-07:00

Harnessing the Wind

2009-10-06T11:00:00.000-07:00

I checked in at Chookooloonks today and saw this great video. It made me want to do something worthwhile with my afternoon.

When Italian Parsley Gets Out of Control

2009-09-29T13:24:00.000-07:00

We're Cookin'

2009-09-29T11:25:00.001-07:00

Here I am making our first meal on the new range. (We heated up Papa Murphy's the night before, but I figure that doesn't count.) The electrician guys hooked up the hood today. The one in the kitchen held his arms under it and showed me how the suction pulled his arm hairs up, while the guy on the roof said it was like sticking your head out the window of a car at 60 mph when he put his face near where the air blows out. I mentioned that the men on our street like to play, "I've got the biggest/most powerful (fill in the blank)... - in this case "hood." They said they were pretty sure that we'd win that contest without much effort. There's still a way to go, but we're getting down to little stuff - faucets, glass tile, grout...

Tacoma Tigers are better than Portland Lions?

2009-09-27T14:59:00.000-07:00

Thursday after dance class, I packed up the rugrats to go see the new Predators of the Serengeti exhibit at the zoo in Portland. Very nice, although somewhat predictably, the three lions just slouched around on some big rocks (I'm sure the wise baboon Rafiki - had be been around - would have told me that it was Pride Rock on which they were taking their repose.) However, one young couple there with their children did point out a muddy paw print on the window at just about eye level for Mags and Ellie. So, unless some zoo employee is walking around with a fake paw on a stick smearing mud, the lions have actually approached the viewing glass at some point. But, alas, even if I had had the camera, it would have been tough to get a good picture during our visit. BUT, talking about viewing glass and giant cats, I'll take you back to the zoo at Point Defiance in Tacoma over Labor Day weekend. We got to see a tiger that was awake and seemingly hungry. I'm pretty sure he was giving the eye to the girls in the same way I would, say, a freshly seared bacon-wrapped scallop right about now (not sure where that craving came from...).

I congratulate the zoo in Portland for using the same type of viewing method for the new exhibit. So often at the zoo there, the animals are so far away, on the opposite side of a concrete moat, that it's hard to get a good look at them (at least for my old eyes.) The tigers in Portland always look so apathetic and bored and disengaged. I want a tiger that looks interested. Even if it's in my kids - through a sturdy glass wall, that is. Because when the tiger's interested - so are the kids. See for yourself:

Thank God for the Laundry Rooms of Friends

2009-09-20T19:51:00.000-07:00

The hardest part of the kitchen remodel, bar nothing, is the lack of laundry facilities. No dishwasher? We have a sink. No stove? We have a grill. No washing machine? We have...... a big rock and a garden hose? No, I don't think so.

What we do have is a short list of kind people we call friends who are willing to let us use their washers and dryers. Thank you, Jen and Garrett. Thank you, Neighbor Ric. And thank you, Robin, John, Nicole, Amanda and Tony. Thank you, thank you, thank you. We owe you, big time.

Today at Robin and John's, not only did they let us launder our week's worth of dirty underwear, they fed us brunch and their girls watched our girls as we lazed away a sunny morning, hot coffee in hand, waiting for clothes to dry. And, the girls got to see where eggs come from, kind of.

Love Thursday

2009-09-17T07:47:00.000-07:00

Here's some love on Thursday. This was on the ferry from Tacoma to Vashon Island (which we took out and back, just because...) There was some tickling and lots of rain.

Here's the backstory: I read some mommy blogs. For a couple of years, I've read Dooce religiously. She's funny sometimes, and she takes good pictures and has cute pets and children. I know she gets alot of hate mail basically because she is so well-known and puts out so many opinions and often talks more about herself than some people really care to know. I am not emotionally invested in her blog, but I guess that many people are (for good or bad). Still - today she put up a link to all of the hate mail she gets and has blasted it with ads, in an effort to turn the hate into money. It's all just a little sad. I can't imagine getting all of the hate mail, but I also can't imagine putting it out there for all to see and to make money off of it. It's kind of an example of two wrongs not making a right.

On the flip side, I also read Chookooloonks. This is the blog of a woman/mom/wife/artist on a journey to bring more love, authenticism (is that a word?), beauty and truth into her life. Her blog is not read by as many people as Dooce, but she has fans - mostly those who also think that sharing and spreading love and beauty and truth are worthy goals. She is a lawyer turned artist, and she has some lovely thoughts. One of these is Love Thursday. When I checked her blog today, she had 24 Ways to Show Some Love in the next 24 Hours. I thought this was so much more the way I wanted my day to start off today, that I, too, decided to share a love photo and to maybe try one or two of the things she suggests. Sorry, Dooce.

Because Disemboweling Mousies is Hard Work

2009-09-15T13:00:00.001-07:00

A Day in the Life of Happy Cat:

Dawn - 8AM: Get outside. Morning constitutional. Look for still-sleepy mousies - kill, if possible.

8AM - 8:30AM: Get back inside. Eat.

8:30AM - 5PM: Sleep.

5PM - 10PM: Interact with family. Visit neighbors. Stare at tall grass. Kill more mousies.

10PM - Dawn: Get into bed before Colleen. Snuggle into her pillow. Sleep. Reluctantly share pillow. Sleep.

Sunday Morning Quality Time

2009-09-13T17:20:00.000-07:00

We are not a religious family. Jay and I both have a sense of wonder and awe when it comes to the world around us, but we have what seem to be similar skeptical views toward Religion and Church. We live in a county with LOTS of churches - especially the non-denominational Christian type that seem to be very into kids and reaching out to people in the community - even in the schools. I want my kids to be able to articulate their own philosophies regarding faith or whatever you want to call it, because I know that if we don't intentionally dig and then attempt to fill that hole in each girl, we will be leaving it up to the first friend they encounter at school who asks them to come along to church with them. We respect everyone's beliefs, but don't want to leave our kids' faith journeys in the hands of others - or leave those journeys up to chance.

So, this year, it is a goal of mine to figure out how we want to awaken their appreciation for the world around them, foster their sense of goodness, and define our Sunday mornings as time to spend happily and peacefully as a family. Maybe these mornings will someday involve some sort of something a little more structured, but for now, I like the idea of a walk in the woods, a spin on the merry-go-round and a stop to throw rocks into the Lewis River together.

Sleeping Beauty

2009-09-13T17:18:00.001-07:00

Look How Happy These Women Are!

2009-09-11T11:48:00.000-07:00

Brought the camera to share some photos from my weekend, and spontaneously was moved to snap one mid-song. This is why teaching Jazzercise is so worth it. Figured I'd better post in case there's a day when I forget and get all whiny about having to drag my ass over there. Not that that ever happens.

Demi-Plié, Relevé

2009-09-10T19:12:00.000-07:00

So, um, do the kids look excited for their first day of dancing lessons this morning? If you think they do, you should have seen their mother. I was completely beside myself. We were even ON TIME.

Once inside, Ellie achieved a state of steely concentration most often witnessed during the all-around gymnastics competition in the Olympics. Nothing was going to take her off her game. Not even the fact that she was wearing a swimsuit, the result of an early morning leotard accident. No harm done. We'll just call her Shawn Johnson.

Well, so much for steely concentration. That is a long hallway with a cool carpet that needs to be run - or maybe she was pacing out the steps she'd need for some imaginary vault.

This photo includes Karen, the very kind, funny, well-postured proprietor and instructor. I know the photos are basically silhouettes, but you can see the positions so well against the light from outside, and I couldn't use a flash for obvious reasons (including a sheet of glass between me and the class). As a little kid, I would have thought this studio was the absolute best thing ever. Look at the barre!

Reaching for the stars.

Like a cross between a Degas and a Cassatt.

Maggie took this one...

Listening...

Maggie's turn in the older class. Time for some serious line-toeing.

...and barre work.

...and skipping one by one across the floor. I found out later that Mags was not happy being last.

...but she DID get a personal escort. We may have to do some skipping homework - not because it was assigned, but the girl needs to learn how to skip. I believe we got a book on that recently - from Aunt Bev?

This whole thing just melts my heart. I don't remember myself being quite so precious. Probably because we wore black leotards and shoes, not pink. Or, maybe because it was the '70s and was anything really precious in the '70s?

Yep, she likes it.

The Outbuilding at Dawn

2009-09-10T19:07:00.001-07:00

My views to the right and left from bed at dawn in the outbuilding. Makes me want to stay out here indefinitely.

Flora and Fauna

2009-09-08T11:40:00.000-07:00

Early September is really pretty awesome at our house. The other day, the sunflowers called me out of the house, and then I realized that there was a crowd out in the garden - bees:

and a tiny little frog on a gigantic pumpkin leaf:

...and I think nasturtiums are one of the best flowers around (love those leaves).

Soapstone!

2009-09-08T11:02:00.001-07:00

Here, Kees Shadley, the soapstone guy and his lovely wife (off to his left behind the ornamental grass) are preparing the soapstone slabs for installation into the kitchen. All of the cutting is done onsite - I don't know how. I also don't know how one guy can move and place such giant honking boulder-pancakes of rock without a small army. (I had to leave to teach Jazzercise while the first slab went in, and then we left for the weekend before the second was placed.) It may involve magic. But, for me, everything about soapstone is kind of magical.

On the way home from a trip to see Grandpa Joe in Tacoma, we stopped and picked up a bottle of mineral oil so we could continue the whole soapstone magic thing when we got home. Here is how the stone looks without oil.

Here we are beginning the decidedly low-tech magical finishing process - rubbing mineral oil onto the slab to darken it and bring out the fabulous contrast of the veins and blobs of color.

Here you can see the oiled counter between the dining room and kitchen behind the still unoiled island slab.

Here's the fully oiled counter. The texture and look is all that we had hoped for. I want to go rub it right now.

3 Weeks and 1 Day

2009-09-03T13:41:00.000-07:00

We have crossed the three week mark on the remodel, and we are living in the outbuilding. The floor guy finished up about an hour ago, which means that in five hours, we can re-enter the house. Doing the floors meant that we had to completely vacate and have the entire great room, office, dining room and kitchen devoid of furniture, rugs, doo-dads, etc., etc., etc. Here is a sampling of how the old floor and new floor looked after the new wood was installed. They will not be an exact match, but the old floor has since been sanded and both have been finished with the same stuff to minimize any differences. I am avoiding the house because I am pretty fume-phobic, so I haven't seen how they look now.

I know how lucky we are to have alternate quarters on-site - complete with TV and DVD player, thank goodness! Maggie has insisted on sleeping in her sleeping bag on the hard wood floor for the last two nights. Ellie has taken the air mattress, and Jay, Happy Cat and I have slept in the bed. Basically, it's going as well as could possibly be expected. And yet, I think we are all suffering a bit from remodeling fatigue.

Cabinets are pretty much in. Before they were in the kitchen, they were in the driveway.

Have to buy a few faucets. Knobs and pulls are figured out. Laundry room lighting not completely resolved. Need to find chairs/stools for island and dining room - I'm thinking Cost Plus World Market for that. Glass tile for backsplash got here yesterday - I designed the blend, and it was pretty darn fun if you ever want to try such a thing.

Soapstone guy comes tomorrow. We are super-psyched about that. (We love soapstone! We LOVE soapstone!)

Of course, since we are totally displaced, I can't find the cord to hook the camera to the laptop, so these photos are from last week.

Goodness and Light

2009-08-27T14:17:00.000-07:00

I love photos of my kids having fun. Fun that doesn't involve sharp knives, electrical outlets, Sharpie markers or scissors. I also love the outbuilding. So happy kids on the bed out there is pretty much as good as it gets. Although those same kids NAPPING on that bed would be right up there.

Noggin, the Walla Walla Sweet

2009-08-26T16:20:00.000-07:00

We're growing Walla Wallas this year in the garden. They are a yummy onion, and can get rather large. This particular specimen showed unusual promise - so much that we were tempted to enter it in the Clark County Fair. They have a category for "largest onion," but what with school and kids and kitchens, we just couldn't find a way to get over to the fairgrounds to enter it at the scheduled time. So, we left it in the garden. When we went to the fair, we made sure to see what the largest onion (not counting ours) looked like. I'm not lying - it looked like someone had gone to Freddie's, trolled the produce section, and grabbed any old onion. Sure, it was big like a sweet onion compared to say, a shallot. But, it was just an onion. Our onion was as big as a human head.

So, the other day, I left the children playing for five minutes and the next thing I knew, they had gone in the garden and yanked out at least half of our onions, including the Pride of Brush Prairie that you see above. So, when life gives you onions, what's a girl to do? The options are limited, so we named it Noggin and took some pictures. We haven't figured how we want to use it - I'm voting for cooking it up in some sauce and enjoying little Noggin bits every time we eat spaghetti for the next year.

Gone, Gone, Gone

2009-08-26T14:43:00.000-07:00

Some sunny day, baby

When everything seems okay, baby

You'll wake up and find that you're alone

'Cause I'll be gone.

Gone, gone, gone - really gone...

Gone, gone, gone, cause you done me wrong...

Before

2009-08-24T09:17:00.000-07:00

We are now 12 days into our remodel, and I'm looking at these before pictures vacillating between, "Thank God that crap is all gone!" or "Oh, I remember when we used to have a kitchen! We could eat hot food then! And we didn't have to wash dishes in Maggie's bathtub! And the laundry room!!! We used to wear clean clothes! And the office! We used to have a printer!"

Well, they weren't that good, truth be told. Here's a recap.

Coincidence that CHOKE rhymes with OAK? I think not.

If this little tile tableau was not on the wall behind our dangerously unbalanced cooktop, the idea for the kitchen remodel might never have been hatched. But, spend a few years stirring spaghetti sauce and cooking up fried eggs looking at this little beauty and just try to keep yourself from spending thousands and thousands of dollars and risking months of familial stress to just MAKE IT GO AWAY.

Here, I've backed up a bit to show the triumverate of evil, ugliness and woeful inadequacy. From the top down, the cheapest "hood" known to man (the word "hood" must be used in quotation marks because it is only tangentially descriptive of the fanlike device above the cooktop). Moving down, the peasant picnic tilework. One worker has said, "Wow, someone spent alot of money on that." And he was serious. Different strokes, as they say. And finally, the cooktop that I believe was inspired by someone's trip to the South Pacific. Little, dangerously steep and uneven islands of fire arising from the Pacific Ocean of lovely tile countertop - ready to erupt at any moment to send a skillet of scrambled eggs tumbling ever so noisily onto the floor (and the cook). Surely, this area was the epicenter of all that was wrong with our kitchen. But, it was not by any means, the ONLY problem area. Moving on...

How is that oven hovering in space like that? Ours was clearly an antisocial wall oven - He didn't want any cabinets or counters nearby. Nope, he wanted to be by himself. Kind of like a wall flower, but hotter. But, not THAT hot, because no matter what temperature you set him at, he was always a bit of an underachiever. And then he'd lie about it. "You set me at 400? I'm at 400! Really! Don't you trust me?" NO I DON'T. That's why nobody wants to hang out around you - You're a liar. You are not a degree over 350.

And next to the oven is the pantry. It only had one remaining hollow core door when it was removed. Jay got mad one day, and the door lost. I don't think it put up much of a fight. Nice how that wall blocked off almost all access to the dining room from the kitchen, isn't it?

But, let's say you tried to make it into the dining room from the kitchen. You would have had to walk past Jay's wall art, a masterfully done paint transition that was created years ago with lots of patience, swearing and masking tape. I loved it. Sadly, it has been a casualty of the remodel. I fought to save it - to try to get it cut out and hung over the doorway to the laundry room/bathroom hall area. But, alas, it was directly over a stud and couldn't be removed. So, it's buried under a coat of Athenian Green paint. The green from the dining room now extends around the corner into the hall area.

By the way, nice floor, huh?

Here I am in the dining room - on the wall behind the wall oven/pantry in the kitchen. I am sitting in the "Jesus Niche." We named it that because the only thing we can think of that would go in there with any sense of purpose would be a 3-foot tall porcelain Jesus sculpture. Since we don't have one of those, we just took out the whole wall.

There's the dining room from the great room. I brought the table and chairs with me from a past life, and I am years removed from my old furniture in dark cherry phase. But, the feature about this dining set that sealed its fate was the fact that the table was 48 inches wide. The average dining table is more like 40 inches wide. This meant that if you happened to be the poor fool stuck in the middle seat on the left side of the table, here's hoping that you hadn't had too much wine... because if you had to relieve yourself in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner, you might have had an issue trying to get out of the room. God forbid we ever had a fire during a holiday gathering. There would surely have been at least one death by familial trampling.

And, wouldn't wood floors look nice in the office? And, maybe built-in bookshelves instead of the Easter Island thing we've got going on? Do you see the Easter Island thing? A bunch of individual tall shelves looming over the room? And, is that more OAK I see? I do believe it is.

Basically, we've had some issues. And, we're figuring we might as well deal with as many as we can while we're all turned upside down in the middle of August. We have a grill, a garden hose and an outbuilding with most of the comforts of home. So, here we are. In this last photo, Jay is waiting for the "boys" to come on the first day. Demo is imminent. And there is tension in the air at our house. But, rest assured, demo happened and it was as if a gigantic cloud had lifted and we were off on our journey. More photos soon!

A Day for Celebration

2009-08-22T18:09:00.000-07:00

Today, I became an aunt! Leslie had her baby boy, and I know nothing other than that his name is Kieran Timothy. I was not home when Gramma Jerri called with the news, and well, Jay's not one for details. But yay, City Relatives - Cousin Junior has joined the family!

What else? The sun is shining. The temperature is perfect and I have both cold beer and cold wine waiting for me. And a bounty of tomatoes from the garden. And my little garden out front is doing surprisingly well for me.

What else? We went to IKEA for lunch with the girls and they had Face Painting there, and look who let a complete stranger decorate her skin. And the same kid actually told the woman what she wanted to be painted upon her face. I think we are growing out of the painfully, frightfully shy in the presence of her parents stage. And as one of those parents, I say that is cause for celebration. So Ellie got her face done, too - just like her sister's. And Jay, who was really wanting to get home to paint the kitchen, recognized the significance of the event and went along with it, even though it took a bit of time. Of course, my children plan to never sleep or bathe again in order to keep their faces in their present states. Actually, Mags does plan on sleeping, but only on her back with her face pointing straight up at the ceiling.

What else? Could I be out of good news? NO! I have saved a doozie! I am finished with a year of college chemistry - and my 20-year old self is right now standing in her bedroom down at JMU, looking into the future and wondering who the hell is 40-year old Colleen and why isn't she off using that history degree? Yes, I have more classes that start on Monday, but for 36 hours, I'm going to try to party like it's 1991.

Oh, what a beautiful morning!

2009-08-16T08:36:00.000-07:00

We are smack in the middle of a kitchen remodel (demolition is done and no kitchen exists right now). I am trying to wrap up my third term of chemistry by this coming weekend. My mother-in-law is bringing a friend up for the night to sleep in our cluttered outbuilding which has been serving as my study room for months. My husband is cleaning books out of our office right now to prepare for refinishing the floors in here, and any hour now this computer will likely be decommissioned for a while. But, it is indeed a beautiful morning - I've had some coffee, there's a little bird in the tree outside the window, and roses are blooming in the garden. We've got red tomatoes and tons of green beans and the world's biggest Walla Walla sweet onion. And, well, it's just a good day for singing. Don't know why the video is blurry - one day I should read the manual for my camera (yeah, that probably won't happen...) Listen carefully and you'll hear the sound of a burly guy cutting through drywall somewhere in the front of the house in the middle of the song.

I need to document the kitchen remodel on the blog - It's too monumental to lose to the cobwebs of history. So, hopefully, more posts will be coming. I'm counting on the coming absence of chemistry classes to provide time for some fun and blogging.

Aaargh, the juggling!

2009-06-21T07:08:00.000-07:00

I know in the great scope of LIFE, I am not alone in saying that balance is a bitch. The juggling with going back to school and trying to do Jazzercise and also be fully present and engaged with my kids and husband on a regular basis leaves me pooped a large portion of the time. I've cut myself some slack on the blog since January when chemistry classes started to fill up every single spare moment - and many moments that I didn't actually consider spare. This week, my parents are here and I am in between terms at school - with one last blast of chemistry coming at me this summer. Hopefully, the whole summer vibe will factor into my studies and I will find a way to relax a little. But, in this week - between kids and parents and planning a kitchen remodel, I plan to blog. At least once or twice. And then there's the little matter of finding the cord to hook the camera up to the laptop...

Pollen Attack

2009-06-03T18:59:00.000-07:00

Ellie looked up as we sat down to lunch and yelled, "Mama! Look! It's snowing!" Horrified, I looked outside to see my worst allergy nightmare come true - we'll just call it a pollen storm. The camera was in the outbuilding, so I held my breath and ran to get it - all the while hearing the girls yelling, "Mama! It's coming into the house!" As I held my hands over my head and ran for cover, I could only yell, "For the love of God, close the door! Save yourselves!" I cannot remember allergies being this bad in the past, although this is the prime time when they strike every year. I remember being 8 months pregnant with Ellie and going through sneezing fits that left me cradling my belly and wetting my pants. Although intellectually I know things will improve, it's hard because we wait so long for the nice weather and then have to suffer to try to enjoy it - or lock ourselves in and close the windows.

Fun Days

2009-05-31T14:42:00.000-07:00

The end of May is here, and with that comes Hockinson Fun Days! I had to miss the parade this year because of my Saturday morning biology lab, but we hit the pancake breakfast at the firehouse by 7:30 AM and then rounded out the day with some fun over at Oscars. I love when that time of year comes when we grab a cold bottle of wine, load the kids onto the lawn tractor and go a-visiting up and down the street. (In the one photo, there's a good view of Oscar and Deborah's McDonald's Playland. No wonder Oscar is now Maggie's favorite neighbor.) They also have some baby robins that are conveniently hanging out in a tree adjacent to the playground, only about 5 feet off the ground for easy viewing.

One Week without Farley

2009-05-28T06:28:00.000-07:00

It's been about a week since old Farley went to the green, sunny field in the sky that we call Doggie Heaven around here. And, life is going on - the weather has been fabulous (so it hasn't been too hard to think of him spending the night out in the yard (if that makes any sense). In this week, I've been struck by how life is different without him.

I feel a lot like I've lost my shadow. For fifteen years, whenever I went from one room to another, he dragged himself along. Now, when I go to take a shower, I can close the bathroom door right away instead of waiting for him to follow along. It had gotten to where I'd feel extra bad if I only had to run into a room for something - knowing he'd follow, lie down and then be forced to drag himself up right away to follow me somewhere else.

I'm not sure what to do with the leftovers. An extra piece of toast at breakfast? Unfinished piece of pizza? I guess they go in the trash because Happy Cat just looks at me funny when I drop them on the floor.

There's no faintly dog-shaped spot on the carpet at the foot of our bed anymore because nobody's lying there shedding all night long.

I don't sit down on wet toilet seats anymore because nobody (thankfully) is nosing up the lid, having a drink and slobbering toilet water all over.

There's nobody here to bark at the house ghosts or the yard spirits anymore. He was great at that. Some people may have assumed he was just barking at the air, but I know better.

I think Maggie has assumed the role of Most Prolific Farter - and let me tell you - those are big shoes she's going to have to fill.

It's just weird being without the stinky, lumpy, gimpy, loyal, handsome pup.

Diggin' for Friskies

2009-05-27T12:05:00.001-07:00

Ellie and Mags were on the porch when I heard a bit of commotion. Nothing too crazy, mind you, just enough to know that something was up. When I inquired as to what might be amiss, Ellie was kind enough to say, "Cat food up by dose." Then she giggled. And, thus began the search for tweezers, the extraction attempts (her nostrils are kind of small) and the end result on the tip of the pincers without a single tear or even darkening of anyone's mood. They don't teach this stuff in Mommy School.

A Tough Month

2009-05-18T14:28:00.000-07:00

I remember a bright summer day fifteen years ago. I was back in Jersey, and Farley, my puppy, had been horribly injured – or at least I thought he had. Like many rambunctious black lab youngsters, he had a penchant for digging in the back yard. There were hidden hazards all around the back yard that could cause twisted ankles, spilled drinks, etc – the reminders of other sunny afternoons and forgotten digging frenzies. On this day, I was inside and heard Farley crying in pain in the yard. I was home alone with him, and I ran outside to help. As he lay crumpled in the yard, he looked at me with eyes that said, “For the love of God, I am HURT! HURT BADLY! I CAN’T MOVE!” I called the veterinarian in a panic. “My dog! He’s injured! I need to bring him in right away!” I made arrangements to take him in and then steeled myself for the task of lifting him from the yard, through the house and into my car. I drove as if I were transporting a woman in the final stages of labor, pulling into the veterinary clinic in five minutes flat. I carried him in – he was probably 45 pounds at this point and very gangly. I explained the situation – “I think he tripped in one of his own holes, and he seems to be in a great deal of pain.” The staff just smiled at me, and I admit by this point, Farley was looking a bit sheepish. The vet explained that Farley probably had no memory of pain in the past and that he was just over-reacting a little. Relieved, we made the trip home a little slower – after I made him walk himself back to the car using the four paws that he’d been born with.

Years have passed, and Farley has outlived the average life-span of a big dog by quite a bit. His hips have bothered him for a long time, but he has soldiered on, even as his pace has slowed and his joints have stiffened. We give him a combination of medicines to ease his discomfort and to keep him as limber as possible. Intellectually, we know that he’s REALLY, REALLY OLD. But, he still gets a little bounce in his step when he sees my car pulling in the driveway and he ambles down to the neighbor’s house to visit his dog friends and mark a few trees. At least, he did all that until yesterday. I don’t know what happened – if he tripped in a hole or if he’s simply getting more and more lame, but now it’s not just his hips that are causing problems. His front leg at the “elbow” is swollen and he can’t really put any weight on that limb. It’s pathetic to watch a dog with stiff hips try to use his one good appendage to guide himself along on our slippery hard wood floors. He’s looking up at me with the same eyes as when he was a silly puppy, but there’s no panic in them now – just cataracts. He doesn’t look scared, and I do wonder if he’s trying to tell me something. He knows what getting old feels like now, and I guess it’s just a matter of trying to tell when he’s had enough. We had to put our cat to sleep last week. He was old, but spry and then got an illness that just sucked the joy out of him and replaced it with wheezing and discomfort. I think we had anticipated that Farley would be the next in the line of pet attrition, but that’s not how it went, and when you lose one you figure the others in line should get a bye for at least a while… I don’t know that that will be the case for us. Maggie, full of the curiosity and simplicity of a four-year old has started looking at stuffed animals and saying, “He’s dead. She’s dead.” Then she looks at Farley and says, “Mom, when is Farley going to die?” as if she wants to put it on her calendar. This morning she said, “Mom, Farley’s dead. Really, I’m not kidding.” And honestly, when I went back into the bedroom to check on him, I hoped she was right. Why do pets always seem to make us make the tough call? Why can’t they just die in their sleep in the middle of a dream about running through a sunny field or swimming after a Frisbee in a warm lake?

The weather’s just getting nice – days are longer and the sky is blue more than gray – not the truncated rainy days of winter that you’d expect to get under a dog’s fur and cause problems. Our schedules are busy with play dates and cookouts and the normal responsibilities and detritus that fill a family’s days. It’s hard to stop my normal running around and think “Am I going to have to make a tough decision about this dog today?” I have an appointment to take him in this afternoon to see what they recommend – maybe a shot of something to ease the pain in his elbow? Or maybe I’m just kidding myself. It’ll be all right whatever – as long as I can look into those cloudy old eyes and know as best as I can that we’re on the same page.

Goggles, etc.

2009-05-13T20:14:00.000-07:00

I'm wondering if maybe I should go throughout my days wearing my goggles from chemistry lab. They rarely seem to serve any purpose in there (Would it HURT to get table salt in one's eye?) - however, I did just manage to squirt Farley's steroid-based hip arthritis medicine into my eye when I leaned in and over-enthusiastically discharged the little plunger too close to his tongue and with my face too close to his mouth. The medicine deflected off his tongue and into my face. Had I been wearing my goggles - incident averted. However, right now that pesky ache in my shoulder has completely disappeared. I do have a desire to chase the cat, and I'm a tad drooly.

Ellie and I took Mags to her pediatric dentist today, which basically is like going to Disney World except the toys and snacks are covered by insurance without out-of-pocket expense. The waiting room has a giant flat-screen TV, nearly every toy from the latest Pottery Barn Kids catalog and a train that the kids can make circle the perimeter of the ceiling by pushing a giant red button on the wall. They can draw on giant rolls of paper hanging from the wall, choose the party favor of their choice to take home from the toy closet, and snack on frozen yogurt pops. Mags has been to this dentist a few times before and was looking forward to today - "I don't want you and Ellie to come in with me..." So, I sent her off with the hygienist - I peeked in on her 20 minutes later and she was laid out on the chair, purple sunglasses on her face, patent leather-clad shoes resting gently on a small pillow... while her teeth were cleaned, photographed, treated with fluoride, flossed, polished... The girls going to LOVE spas someday. Ellie just liked the giant Mickey and Minnie Mouse near the door and the popsicles. I mentioned to Jay that we should think about taking her to the dentist soon, and he said, "Maybe she wouldn't mind going to our dentist..." As if. That's like sending one kid to Princeton and the other to community college. (Not that there's ANYTHING wrong with community college...)

Jay and I went to a concert in Portland last Wednesday night - and it wasn't the symphony! We went to see The Shins at the Crystal Ballroom (a venue that I've wanted to visit since I moved to the NW - because of the legendary floating floor...) The concert started at 9:00 - with an opening band - and ended at midnight. On a school night. When I had a test the next day and a babysitter who's still in high school at our house. So, I paid for it. Standing in one spot for nearly four hours didn't bode well for my old back, and staying up until nigh on 1 in the morning caused me to miss not one but more like two nights of studying. But, I would probably do it again just to prove that I can still hang with the teeny boppers. It was good fun, especially since the ballroom is a McMenamins and half the room was roped off for "over-21" people who could consume the resident brew.

On a final note for now, this cold rain sucks and although it's been interspersed with lovely weather... it's just not enough dammit. I Want Sunshine and Warmth. (Of course this weekend it's supposed to be 90 degrees...)

Atticus

2009-05-06T13:05:00.001-07:00

Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet...
Colette

The Apple of Her Eye

2009-04-23T06:56:00.000-07:00

The temperature on Monday was 80 degrees, and it was as if the heavens were smiling down upon us. We had a little scavenger hunt, a picnic and some really enjoyable girl time! Farley had a good time, too. The old guy likes the sunshine.

Smart Little Girl

2009-04-22T17:09:00.000-07:00

Jay, reading from one of our many Mother Goose books:

What are little girls made of?
Sugar and spice,
And everything nice,
That's what little girls are made of.

Maggie: WHAT are little girls made of??

Jay: Sugar, spice...

Maggie: What about BRAINS?! I've got BRAINS, too!

Pinocchio and Super WHY

2009-04-15T09:17:00.000-07:00

This morning Maggie came out of her room and told me that her sleeping bag had a rip in it. "Hmm," I thought aloud. "How unlikely that the sleeping bag could have a rip... Maggie, please bring the sleeping bag out here." And then I see that it has been cut with a pair of scissors that, well, God knows where she found them.

"Did you cut the sleeping bag?"

"No."

"Well, when did this happen?"

"While I was sleeping. Ellie did it."

"Maggie, are you telling the truth?"

"Yes, I am."

"Well, that's funny because I can tell when you're lying because your nose grows."

"What?!"

Of course, she had no idea what I meant, but it did freak her out a little. Anyway, as I'm pondering how I'm going to sew up the sleeping bag, since it's clear that Maggie's "Just use some tape" solution won't work, I turn on PBS as a babysitter. Serendipitously, Super WHY (I think my favorite of the morning shows) comes on, and guess what story they hop into? Yes, Pinocchio! If the gods are smiling on me, by the time the Super Readers sing the Hip, Hip Hooray song, Maggie will no that no good comes from lying. If only it could be that simple. But maybe.

You know, I really enjoy dealing with shit like this. Because truly, I have an innate love of and patience for repairing sleeping bags and the like. I do.

1,4-dimethylcyclohexane - Really!

2009-04-10T11:54:00.001-07:00

I have made the official policy at our house, "If You Are Sick, You Can Watch Television All Day," and that seems to be working well. So, I am doing my chemistry homework on the computer. I just drew this lovely molecule. I don't know how they taught chemistry when the instructors actually had to LOOK at your homework - now it's all online. Lots of fun.

...and the 2-year old captures the moment perfectly.

2009-04-09T21:09:00.000-07:00

When I woke up this morning, I only thought I would spend the day studying (since the new term has started like a cheetah at full speed) and then take the girls to Sweet Tomatoes for dinner with my neighbor down the street. Little did I know that Jay would come home and crash into bed feeling sick, then my neighbor would call in tears to cancel on dinner, then Ellie would break her glasses at KinderCare, and then, to really top things off, Maggie would puke and puke and puke yet again. As Ellie yelled at the top of her lungs as she ran about the house tonight, "What the fuck is going on here???!!!" Yeah, you read that right.

The Slippery Slope

2009-04-06T14:08:00.000-07:00

Okay, today I really mean it.

2009-04-06T13:14:00.000-07:00

It is FAB-U-LOUS outside today. The princesses are wandering about singing songs and picking flowers. Time for a picnic lunch!

What a Freakin' Gorgeous Day!!

2009-04-01T11:59:00.000-07:00

Look at my children, frolicking among the spring growth at Yard-n-Garden Land! Spring is truly here, and today is the best day we have had in 2009. Time to break out the SPF60! Oh... April Fool's!

It's just another sucky day of steady rain... but we did sneak out the other day in between showers. The kids are in desperate need of sunny days and space to run around. I know, July will come soon enough...

I Was Really Trying to Get a Photo of Her Smiling...

2009-03-31T19:09:00.001-07:00

Erica and I went to see Heather B. Armstrong (aka Dooce) at Powell's last night. It was a mob scene. Tried to get a picture of Heather smiling, but... well, I like when people use their faces to help tell stories.

I'm thinking this was during a pregnancy boob story...

And here, probably instructing the partners of pregnant women in preparation for the sexual dry spell that will potentially follow the impending birth of their bundles of joy. Good stuff.

Grainy photos - Didn't want to use the flash...

Because in March, Dandelions are Just Wildflowers

2009-03-31T18:57:00.001-07:00

Princess bouquets being held as if two princes are waiting for their brides at the end of the driveway.

Happy Cat and Frontline

2009-03-31T18:44:00.001-07:00

Isn't this cat cute? She looks like someone took a Siamese cat body and stuck some spare parts on her - like a game of Cootie gone awry. Her head, legs and tail look like the ghost of my old Fred Cat - except for her beautiful blue Siamese eyes. She hangs around the neighborhood, and over time her circle has shrunken and shrunken and shrunken some more so that now her life is mostly lived on our property. Somewhat surprisingly - or at least completely without premeditation - we have come to really like her alot. She is, after all, really Happy (thus, the name). She's not a pushover like Atticus - no dog in a cat's fur. She will offer up a cautionary nibble when she is offended by a certain touch, for example. But, we would like to have her hang out with us in the house - especially when she positions herself outside the front door, stands up on her rear legs and plaintively cries, "meeew, meeeeew!"

But, I think Happy Cat has some pesky fleas. We dug out some Frontline for cats from the cabinet to give her a good dose, and then went online to see how long it would take until the pests would be an issue no more. Here is what the fine folks at Frontline say about how long it takes for the product to be effective:

Kills up to 100% of existing fleas in less than 24 hours

Well, let's look at that proclamation a bit - UP TO 100% in less than 24 hours. So, basically, this product might exterminate all unwanted critters in a flash. OR, IT MIGHT NOT WORK AT ALL. Who the hell wrote that? So, Happy Cat's banished for at least a few days - or until I see the telltale rear leg stop scratching away at her ear.

She Did NOT Eat the Proboscis

2009-03-26T10:59:00.000-07:00

What am I going to do about this little girl who has started LYING about every blessed thing in her life?

Maggie, did you make this mess?

No, Ellie did it.

Ellie was with me.

Papa did it.

Papa is at work.

Farley did it.

Farley is outside. Besides, throwing princess dresses around isn't really what old Labrador retrievers like to do.

YOU did it.

Try again.

The giant did it.

What giant?

He's over there, under the blanket.

Let's go look... I don't see any giant.

He's invisible...

So the invisible giant took all of your princess stuff and threw it all over the floor.

He was looking for the Sleeping Beauty princess shoes.

Of course he was.

So, yesterday, we played Cootie. She gets it, and we can actually get through a game if Ellie's not around. But, clean up is a bitch. Let's see... There are 4 cootie bodies, 4 heads, 4 toppers (hats, antennae, etc.), 4 mouths, 4 sets of eyes, and 24 legs. The sheer number of parts makes it a "That Which Must Only Be Used with Adult Supervision" toy. But alas, Mama had to go to the bathroom. When it came time to clean up, we were one curly tongue-like part short.

Maggie, have you seen the missing Cootie piece? It looks like a curly tongue.

I ate it.

You're kidding. I didn't hear any choking or hear any whining.

No, I had to eat it, I was sick and it made me feel better.

Did you chew it?

No. Just swallowed it whole.

Okaaaay. Well, I guess we'll just have to see what happens.

This morning, magically, it showed up on her bedsheet - and not through any indescribable in-one-end-and-out-the-other process.

I am grateful for her active imagination, and yet worried (and not a little pissed off) about her constant propensity to fib to me about the littlest thing. Hoping it's just a phase.

And this little stuffed puppy? He gets put on the blog because his name is "Little Easter Puppy Who Found the Eggs on the Back Porch." This has been his name for a few days running, even though it requires a deep breath to get the whole thing off one's lips. This is notable because 1. It is not yet Easter, so no eggs have been found anywhere. 2. We don't have a back porch.

Life with Little Girls

2009-03-24T12:49:00.000-07:00

...somehow I think we've reached the age when life is fundamentally different between boys and girls. That phone ringing at the end? That was their agent.

A Few Pearls from Mags

2009-03-23T19:02:00.000-07:00

Spin Art: We have a nice spin art machine. It was a gift from Jay one year when I asked for one. And when I say it's nice, I mean I could do the birthday party circuit and it would hold up. Every now and then, when the weather's nice, we enjoy taking it out on the porch and getting creative. Problem is, we end up with stacks of spin art paintings. I keep them neatly piled on a shelf, but one day they ended up spewed all over the floor of the great room. When I discovered them, I yelled, "Maggie!! Where did these come from??!!"

"Oh, Mama. They came from our imaginations!"

Baby Chicks at Wilco: The other day, Jay took the girls to see the baby chicks and ducks at Wilco. They keep them in gated little pens with heat lamps, and they are pretty cute. After everyone got home, I asked what the baby chicks said.

"Mama, they didn't say anything. They didn't eat their alphabet soup." (Yes, she is a little familiar with Martha the Talking Dog.)

Finding a Man: After watching Beauty and the Beast, in which the beast at the end turns into a handsome prince with long flowing locks:

"I need to find me a nice guy with good hair." Girl's got her priorities straight. Of course, if you check out the prince at about 3:30 into the video, you'll see that "good hair" is pretty much a Fabio do... I asked her if she wanted to find one so she could marry him (because she tends to frame relationships in Disney princess terms). She said, "No, not so I can marry him. HE has to marry ME."

Deep sigh of relief and a cold beer

2009-03-19T16:03:00.000-07:00

Finished my last final of the term today, and will be resuming life shortly. So, all those things I've been meaning to blog about should be coming soon. Wow.

Lincoln's Pocketwatch

2009-03-11T09:07:00.000-07:00

Here's an interesting story - the kind I think we need more of these days. Nobody's lost their home, been scammed or suffered any kind of unfortunate illness. Nothing remarkable. Just kind of fun to read over a cup of coffee. (Photo from FoxNews - not that I read FoxNews regularly over coffee, mind you.)

Rainbows and Potty "Humor"

2009-03-03T16:30:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was one of those days where the sun shines crisply and the next thing you know the puffy gray rain clouds roll in and let loose with ten minutes of rain and then the sky clears up. This almost always results in a plump rainbow off the east side of our house. At one point, the rain was coming down while the sun was out in the yard, so I called Maggie outside to look at the sky.

I let her sit on the banister of the porch while I hugged her around the waist from behind to keep her from falling. As we looked for the rainbow, she snuggled back into me, and I gave her a squeeze. She looked up at me and asked, "Mama, can we just stay like this forever?"

Me: "That would be nice wouldn't it?" (I plant a little kiss on top of her adorable blonde head.)

Mags: "Mama, what if you had pee pee on your head?! Ha ha ha!!! That would be gross!" Yep. And then the moment was over.

Saturday, 3:45 AM

2009-02-28T05:36:00.000-08:00

Maggie, Maggie, Maggie - We need to have a talk. I know how much you like to touch base with your father in the morning even though he leaves for work by 6AM (on weekdays). I know you like to crawl up in bed with me and watch him choose his clothes and direct him to wear a necktie although that's totally out of the norm at his office. But it's fun. I know how sad you are when you get up in the morning and he is already gone. I remember very clearly the sobbing and despair yesterday morning when you realized that you had missed him. In fact, that crying so moved me that I mentioned it to your loving dad.

He told me that the two of you had had a conversation the night before that went something like this:

Mags: "Papa, I like to wave goodbye to you when you leave for work, but sometimes I don't get to see you in the morning."

Jay: "Yes, Mags, I leave early. If you want to wave goodbye to me, you just have to get up before I leave..."

So, then you tried yesterday morning, and missed him. And cried. And apparently determined that you would not miss him again. (Needless to say that the implications for me are as follows: each morning you will now either get up earlier than any respectable four year old should OR you will oversleep and start the day crying because you've missed the chance to wave goodbye.) BUT, I digress - this morning (SATURDAY) at 3:45, I heard "pat pat pat pat pat" down the hallway. Then I heard the door to the darkened great room open and a little voice call out "Papa?"

When there was no answer I heard the door to our bedroom ease open. You focused in on the sleeping form of your father, took comfort in the fact that he was still in bed and went "pat pat pat pat pat" back to your room. That was two hours ago. You are now asleep. Your father is now asleep. I AM AWAKE. VERY AWAKE. AND LIKELY TO STAY THIS WAY FOR QUITE SOME TIME. We may have a problem here...

Extreme Chemistry Training

2009-02-18T10:37:00.000-08:00

At one of our recent symphony outings, Jay and I were perusing the program and there was an interview with the new young concertmaster, Jun Iwasaki. In the interview, he was asked how many hours a week he practices. He said that it was an impossible question to answer, but that his goal was to learn the pieces he would be performing well enough so that if someone woke him up in the middle of the night, he would be able to get up in his pj's and play the piece from memory at concert quality. Here is a link to another interview with the concertmaster - can't find the one I'm talking about online...

Right now, I am doing practice problems for my chemistry test tomorrow. Ellie is SCREAMING because she and Maggie are arguing over ownership of a particular "baby doll." It is Maggie's doll, and I have tried to sell the idea that Ellie is simply babysitting, but that only works for a minute or two. Someone just fell down in the back of the house. The dog is whining. I have little hands clutched around my left thigh. My shirt is being tugged, and yet: I have just successfully identified how many moles of calcium carbonate are needed to produce 1.21 of carbon dioxide under STP conditions.

Breakfast for Two

2009-02-18T08:03:00.000-08:00

Maggie's taking care of breakfast this morning - my only roles were to fry an egg, toast an English muffin and brew the coffee. At this rate, maybe it won't be that long until Jay and I can move into the outbuilding and leave the kids alone in the house... Oh, the quiet would be a nice change.

Fun with Personal Pronouns

2009-02-17T07:42:00.000-08:00

How do you entertain a 2 1/2 year old? Get her up in the morning and say, "Hi, Ellie! You're you!"

"No, I'm ME! YOU'RE you!"

"You're right! I'm me!"

"No, YOU'RE YOOOOUUUU!!! I'm MEEEEEEEEEE!!"

"Yes, you are you! ...and I'm me."

"MAMA! You are YOU." (hands on hips, lips pursed, brow furrowed)

"Okay, you're Ellie. I love you. Let's go get some oatmeal."

Proof that the person who is my exact opposite exists

2009-02-14T12:14:00.000-08:00

If there were a universe that existed where we were created as absolute polar opposites of ourselves, this would be my blog.

Okay, and this is just insane...

6-Word Memoirs

2009-02-13T15:56:00.000-08:00

I read a little thing on the Powells Books blog, and it caught my eye. Now, whenever I have a free moment, I'm writing 6-Word Memoirs - or if not exactly "memoirs," then at least little summaries of my day. It's very Facebook, but instead of pithy little status updates... Colleen is: staring at the computer as the girls pull out the cat's claws one by one. Colleen is: dancing the Macarena with the dog... it's more like a haiku for the day. Or the hour. Or the mood. Try it, what'cha got?

Friday: KinderCare has borrowed the noise.

Cold fingers - Hot tea? Red wine?

My hair: messy. My brain: tired.

What will we have for dinner?

What, another homework assignment? No way.

Rancid dog farts. Well, he's old.

...wow, those are a little dark. Maybe I'll try more after that glass of wine...

Jazzercise photos

2009-02-10T09:34:00.000-08:00

At the request of my dear old friend, Kathie Roth (Johnson), I posted a photo of myself teaching Jazzercise on Facebook. Then, I realized that I had never posted a photo on the blog, basically because I have never had a photo of me teaching until someone (Terry E.) took a bunch on the occasion of my 40th birthday class (thus, the balloons and tiara).

So, here goes. I love these people. And, it's really true: I love Jazzercise.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-02-09T21:04:00.000-08:00

Look at the picture of Ellie and me from the previous post before you read this. Get her ridiculously adorable silly smile in your head before proceeding.

Okay - go ahead...

This morning, I was full of Good-Mom-ness. I had plans for us for the day. We would do art. We would bake cookies. We would eat a nutritious lunch together. There would be bath time and story time and my little angels would snuggle down happily into nap time with nary a whimper.

It was about 9 AM and we were square in the middle of art time. The art tablecloth was spread, paints abounded, papers were being filled with the tangible results of my genius-daughters' imaginations. Ellie, smiling sweetly, looked up at me and proclaimed, "Mama, YOU SUCK!"

"What did you say?"

"Mama, YOU SUCK!" (Smiling.)

In horror, I realize that I am both speechless AND running to grab the video camera. I turn it on.

"Ellie, dare I ask you to say what you just said before?"

"What? Flowers!! Princesses! I'm a princess!! I do painting!"

"Yes, but what else did you just say?"

"I don't know."

I turn the camera off.

..."Mama, YOU SUCK! HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!"

I called Jay and told him the story. He said, "Is this funny?" "No, of course it's not. I don't think so, but kind of funny in a this-better-not-happen-again kind of way..." "Yeah, that's what I thought."

I Dood It!

2009-02-06T18:01:00.000-08:00

Darling Ellie,

Years from now, when you are graduating summa cum laude from some prestigious university probably on the east coast, we will look back on early February 2009 as the time when you first began to assert your independent thinking and self-assuredness and carved in stone the fact that you are indeed the daughter of a certain someone whose most defining characteristic is "Spunk."

It doesn't matter if we are talking about applying salad dressing to a pile of lettuce leaves on your plastic plate, removing your diaper, combing your hair, donning your shoes or fastening yourself into your car seat - You proclaim to all within earshot, "I DOOD IT!" Then, you follow it up with a look through those adorable jewel-encrusted glasses that says, "Just try to mess with me, Buddy/Mama. My Force Field is up - and if you even TRY to remove said diaper without my permission, I will spin my head a full 360 degrees, spew fire from every orifice and bonk you over the head with my stuffed monkey." Thus, Mama backs off and waits until you realize your pants are on backwards/you can't reach the yogurt/you can't drive the car yet. Then, you ask for help, and we can all get on with the business of our day again. (Thank God.) When I am in the moment, I may sometimes seem a bit, shall we say, frustrated. But, when I am thinking objectively, I am happy (and proud) about your spunk. I have long feared (although that's not the right word...) the fact that you are 20 months younger than Mags, but will probably only be one grade behind her in school. She will be nearly 6 when she starts kindergarten and very likely will be solving quadratic equations by the time she hits first grade. But, I am confident that you will kick some ass of your own when you get to school. Because you are Ellie, with a capital E.

Your teacher at KinderCare, Ms Christine - Or just "Christine" as you like to call her - LOVES you. You walk in, and she can't wait to give you a hug and promise that you won't get sent off to another class because you make her laugh. (Plus that, you are the only kid who enunciates clearly enough for her to understand what the hell you're saying.) This morning, she told me a story. The other day, I guess she mentioned that it was snack time. Being a food-driven creature, you went and sat down at the table. I guess the other kids (being two) kept playing and running around. Ms Christine got distracted. A few minutes later, she again said, "Okay, it's snack time!" And you, still sitting at the table with your hands neatly crossed, deadpanned, "YEAH, you already said that." The world can't spin fast enough for my Ellie.

Finishing off the Damn Top Ten List - #9 and #10

2009-01-30T20:34:00.000-08:00

(photo from the OBT website)

#9 on the Top Ten List was supposed to be a long description of the logistical nightmare it was getting Maggie to the OBT Nutcracker in the ridiculous snowfest before Christmas, but that was long ago, and I want to get this blog back into the present day. So, I vote for just saying "bygones!" and letting it go. Suffice it to say the adventure involved exchanging tickets for a less treacherous day, stuffing my family into a pickup truck as if we were circus clowns, bribing ushers at the Keller auditorium, streetcars, very fancy dresses, long walks on icy sidewalks, and even a certain person in my beloved circle of relatives peeing in public on a Portland thoroughfare. That, and the realization that the first act of The Nutcracker is really pretty boring - It's not good until the snow falls and the Sugar Plum Fairy gets her groove on. Okay, enough of that until next year.

#10 was supposed to be about all of my favorite gifts from the holidays. I think I'll just save those posts for individual ones at later dates as I've got time. I'm desperate to get back into real time on this blog. So, goodbye, Top Ten list. Hello, February.

Top Ten List #8: The Great Toy Purge

2009-01-28T16:47:00.000-08:00

For Christmas, I got Ellie and Maggie a little wardrobe from IKEA in which to keep all of their dress-up gowns, shoes, tutus, wings, jewels, hats, tiaras, and sundry accessories. They loved it. However, within 5 minutes of realizing it was a present, they had emptied out its contents and started using the two sides as individual dressing rooms. Yes, they had to contort themselves like circus performers to fit inside the cubbies, but it was fun. For them. For me, I saw a piece of furniture designed to bring order to our lives instantly reduced to a backdrop for a large supply of pink frilly crap on the floor.

For a bit, I'd put it away at night. And, I'd try to get Maggie to clean it up. Have you ever tried to get the wind to stop blowing? Leaves from falling to the ground in autumn? The sun from rising in the morning? It didn't work (although Ellie will actually clean stuff up on her own with just a little prompting.) But, one kid straightening up isn't good enough because the other one can always come along behind her and dump the box of Legos or toss an entire bookshelf on to the floor because she thinks her favorite bracelet might be in there behind the books. So, one day while they were at KinderCare, I got out a few giant trash bags and moved everything that was not put away into the bags and then into storage bins in the garage (see above). I figured they'd come home and freak out. But, do you know what? Nobody freaked out. I don't think anyone noticed. This was a few weeks ago, and honestly, we're all okay.

There's some good stuff out there. Some of it is stuff that I'd actually like to put back into circulation. Her freakin' Sleeping Beauty dress is out there! And Ellie's Cinderella dress! And the accessories for Maggie's Sleeping Beauty vanity! It does not work without the accessories, but she has not asked for them even one time. Not one. In fact, the other day, Maggie came to me and told me that I could make all of her toy food "get lost like my other stuff." So I did - that's the little white bin on the top. The thing of it is, that even with the piles of stuff in the garage (much of which was new at Christmas), there's still enough stuff to make this happen (see below). I asked Maggie today, "If you could just keep three toys, what would they be?" She couldn't even name three things - she just said, "My big girl bed." Am I doing something wrong here?

Top Ten List #6 and #7: Parental Outings

2009-01-26T10:20:00.000-08:00

Jay and I are pretty committed to giving experiential gifts to grown-ups these days, since, as previously mentioned, we don't really NEED anything and it's always good to reduce the amount of unneeded, although well-intentioned STUFF that piles up around the house. Plus, who really remembers where that third green sweater came from? But, you're always going to remember the fun day when you went to _______ (fill in the blank) with ________ (fill in the other blank). So, Jay and I went snowshoeing, and I took day trips with Mom and Pops, too.

Mom and I went to Bonneville Hot Springs for a spa day. They were selling $100 gift cards at Costco for $80 a pop, so I stocked up on a few and studied the spa menu. After Christmas, the weather was better than it had been before, but Bonneville is out in the gorge and getting there is a hilly, twisty ride where, on occasion, it's possible to envision your car sliding on black ice and plunging a few hundred feet down the gorge and into the Columbia River. For some reason, I booked us for appointments at something like 9 in the morning on a Sunday, so it was a somewhat rushed trip to get out there, but once we were there, it was really pleasant. The building itself looks a little dated from the outside, but the spa was okay, and the people were super-nice. I have had my share of facials and massages, but never before have I had a private soak in the magical mineral waters of a hot spring. A quick facial plus a luxurious pedicure, and I was feeling pretty good. Mom had a massage and pedicure. We ate a relaxing lunch overlooking the garden and outdoor soaking pool and then headed home. The most stressful part of the visit was choosing the color of polish for our toenails.

Pops and I had a Carleton Watkins day - Portland Art Museum had what proved to be a hugely popular exhibit called Wild Beauty, featuring the history of photography in the Columbia River Gorge. There were alot of photos by Watkins and his contemporaries, but the exhibit went up through more current times including the harnessing of the river's power when the dam was built at The Dalles (and the Native American fishing grounds and many petroglyphs were sunk under the river). We also went to the Oregon Historical Society (quickly), had a great lunch across the park at South Park and watched as a downed tree was removed from a third story window of a nearby building.

And I didn't have to buy a single thing this year from L.L. Bean.

Top Ten List - #5: Show Tunes

2009-01-25T17:15:00.000-08:00

Okay, this video is long and probably more than a little obnoxious unless you know and love my children. I did not coerce them into wearing swimsuits in the bathtub - that is completely their idea because it makes them feel more like mermaids. (It did provide the chance to make a post-able video, though...) I did try to get a shorter clip, but the song they chose to sing was their own version of "The Song That Doesn't End" - if you are fans of Lambchop (Here's your friendly warning - Do NOT click on that link...). So anyway, getting them to learn these songs takes some time, but adds so much pleasure to our lives. Our kids don't sing Barney songs. No, they pretend they're Mitzi Gaynor. And that's really one of the things that makes parenting these girls so much fun. We are currently working on the Mamma Mia songbook...

Top Ten List - #4: Snowshoeing on Mt. Hood

2009-01-24T19:42:00.000-08:00

This year, we decided to take advantage of the fact that my parents were here on New Year's Eve to actually go out and do something that required us to stay up until midnight. This is no small task for us - It had not been achieved or even "neared" since we became parents. For Christmas, I had asked Jay what kind of experiential gift he might like since neither of us could really think of another "thing" we needed. I don't know what kind of answer I expected, but the answer I got was, "I'd really like to go snow camping with you." Then, the love of my life went on to describe his prior snow camping experiences which included anecdotes like, "Yeah, one night Myles went too far off our beaten down area when he had to pee and he sunk in the snow up to his neck." And, "You know when you're snow camping, you can't build a fire because it will sink into the snow." I don't know where I fall on the general population's scale of cold tolerance, but I can tell you that upon first hearing the Robert Service poem The Cremation of Sam McGee, I felt like his kindred spirit. I like camping. I LOVE my husband. I am willing to try new things. But, I'm just, shall we say, "wary" about digging a snow cave and snuggling in for a sound night of sleep.

I really did want to take the opportunity to do something fun outside in the snow, though. So, I started Googling and found an outfit out of Government Camp that does snowshoeing outings near Mt. Hood Skibowl. I arranged for us to take part in the New Year's Eve snowshoeing adventure, complete with a slopeside view of the fireworks over Skibowl. A four-hour outing start to finish, and then a warm night at the Resort at the Mountain down the hill in Welches.

We had gotten to the Columbia River when I realized I had forgotten my camera. I kicked myself for that. We had gotten to Gresham (about half an hour from home) when I realized I had forgotten my hiking boots. That one was kind of an insurmountable issue, so we made the trip back with me feeling like a complete idiot and with Jay not saying much to prove me otherwise. Fortunately, the evening was young, and we were able to make the trip back, get dinner at Edgefield, and head toward the mountain right as the snow started. By the time we reached our room, it was starting to accumulate. By the time we got to Government Camp, the snow was coming down hard, the revelers were coming out in force and we were starting to worry about how we'd get the truck back down to our hotel at 2 in the morning without killing ourselves or being killed by some drunken snowboarder in a Vanagon or something.

Opting to live in the moment, we found Mt. Hood Adventure and met up with our leader and group. There were around a dozen in our party, and we got into the untrodden snow behind skibowl at around 10:30 at night. It was pretty magical because the lights of Skibowl illuminated the sky enough so we weren't completely in the dark, but with the snow falling steadily and with the trees draped in heavy blankets of white, it wasw easy to imagine we were in a more remote location than we actually were. After an hour or so, we got to a spot where we were able to build a fire (in a wide-lipped metal bowl to prevent the sinking fire issue) and settle in for hot chocolate and fireworks in the snow. It was awesome! The walk back was much easier than the trip out since we had padded down a "sidewalk" that we just retraced. We did (slowly) make it back to the room in time to crash sometime before 3 AM. The resort's restaurant had a truly wonderful all-you-could-eat New Year's brunch for a reasonable price with bottomless mimosas included (!!) Since we'd been toasting with hot chocolate and Rice Krispy treats at midnight, we felt entitled to indulge with our blintzes and smoked salmon. Then, we headed toward home in heavy rain, making it just hours before a huge landslide blocked the main highway between Portland and the mountain for days. Yep, a new year's to remember for once. Let's hope the year itself is as good. Maybe snow camping will make it onto the calendar.

Top Ten List #3 - The Blizzard of Ought Eight

2009-01-23T06:38:00.001-08:00

It started out as novel - Snow! In the Portland area! At freakin' Christmas! There were snowball fights, exuberant bursts of laughter, hopes for a white Christmas... Then, it just kept coming. And sticking. And freezing. Smiles turned downward. Chains were mounted. Portland closed down for about a week (except for Oregon Ballet Theater, but that's another post). No work. No shopping. No separation from one's family except when locked in desperation in the bathroom for a few minutes.

For the most part, we did all right. It had the makings of a survival novel, but alas, we did not need to call in Sebastian Junger to write about our storm. Nobody died or had to eat cat food or go without power. We did not need to burn the kids' toys for heat. In fact, there were blessedly few arguments, although I don't doubt that each adult present quietly cursed at least one of the others at some point. The biggest inconvenience was that we all had to pile into the truck if we wanted to get off the property - so getting to Starbucks was a bit of a bitch. And, it did cause Christmas to have a bit of a "What, another day at home with my family? How quaint!" kind of feel to it.

This video is from a ride Jay and I took up into the hills just east of us. It was lovely and will be my favorite video in August when I need to cool down.

Top Ten List #2: The Big 4-0

2009-01-21T12:50:00.000-08:00

Okay, it's not so bad. Jay asked what I wanted, and I said to get my hair colored (haven't gotten around to that) and to see my dear friend Erica - who lives so close, but so far away in Portland. I got my annual ice cream cake - which is always so tasty, although I had made it clear (albeit to Mags) that I really wanted a homemade carrot cake. I also asked for a surprise party, but I suppose that's a bit contradictory. I was actually afraid I might wake up miserable, but the best cure for that is Jazzercise. At my Friday morning class, I brought one of the girls' tiaras to wear and we had a small little snack after class. My friend Jen brought balloons and some fruit, and a very kind couple brought me a potent lavender sachet (which is currently scenting my entire closet). On Saturday morning (the actual big day) I went to AM Jazzercise at the middle school. I am lucky in that Saturday morning Jazzercise is an instant estrogen party. It was packed, there was singing and well wishes and even a goofy birthday princess headband.

Later, Erica and Tim came up and we drank champagne and then all went to Pizzeria 360. Erica gave me a beautiful bunch of flowers - including the one in the photo, and we have planned a spa getaway day in PDX. Jay got me an online subscription to the NY Times Crossword. And then bedtime came and the next day dawned and so on and so on and... here we are.

Top Ten List - #1: Back to School

2009-01-21T09:23:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I'm not going to work backwards here. My blog, my rules - The Top Ten List starts with #1. So here's the scoop - the number 1 thing that's been occupying my time in the last few weeks and keeping me so busy that I am thinking of writing down the kids' names so I don't forget is the fact that I'm officially back in school. No more Radclyffe-Schmadclyffe stuff. I am a contact center consultant no more. I am "in training" to get into a program to become a dietician - someday on the distant horizon. (It's a FAR more intense process than you might imagine, but I guess that's good.)

So, I found this program through Kansas State University (Go Wildcats!) that I can do through distance learning. Once I complete that, I have to do an internship, go for licensing, etc... but first things first. In order to get into that program, I need to meet a number of pre-requisites (that involve such things as chemistry and anatomy and physiology and - needless to say - not the type of classes one is likely to find on the transcript of a history/art history major). So, I am now enrolled at just about every community college in the Pacific Northwest and am deep in the process of getting up to speed.

But it's the chemistry at Clark College (Go Penguins!) that's taken over my life. I do have vague memories of high school chemistry - and they are not pleasant. I think (well, I know) at that point, I approached chemistry with: absolutely no interest at all, a bit of a vague belief that girls weren't supposed to be good at science, and a burning dislike for my teacher. So, needless to say, I don't remember much. But now I am 40 years old, have a specific reason for taking the class, and possess a strong determination do better than the slouched-over teenagers in my class. So, all is well. Yes, my instructor is younger than I am. Yes, I will have to don goggles and trust that said slouchy teenagers will not play games with acid near me in the lab. Yes, I am trying to learn the oxidation states of various polyatomic ions today. But I can do it. Right?

I actually carry my college transcripts around with me when I go to chemistry in case I need to remind myself that - say it with me - "I am good enough. I am smart enough. And, gosh darnit, people like me!"

And, in my ever-growing list of role modeling behaviors for the kids - I have taken to saying often - "Sorry, I can't play with you until I finish my homework."

Planning to get back in the saddle

2009-01-19T09:46:00.000-08:00

I have to say it was nice to give myself a month off from the blog - although I love it here! I have now been officially sucked into the Facebook world (thanks to dear Molly who I had previously thought never used computers), and I feel a renewed interest in updating and maintaining an informative and entertaining presence on the internet, as if there's great demand for such a thing. So, I'm planning to post a concise summary of the last month in the form of a kind of jjjuggles Top Ten List of things of note from the last month and then hop back into regular posting. Check back in a day or two, and good luck to me as far as doing what I say I'm going to do. Here are a couple of pictures of the princesses or fairies or whatever you'd like to call them.

Solstice

2008-12-21T08:39:00.000-08:00

It's morning on the shortest day of the year. Overnight, a thick layer of ice fell and stuck on the eight inches of snow that's already on the ground. This has rendered us completely homebound, so it could easily be that the shortest day will seem very long if cabin fever sets in...

It's beginning to look alot like...

2008-12-21T08:08:00.000-08:00

Northern Minnesota in January. The kids are loving the snow, and it's a nice change from our usual rain. But, because it's so atypical, we are now in the midst of the long wait that happens every time there is foul winter weather in the snow-plow-deprived Pacific Northwest. Back east - a little road salt and an army of plows would make this weather into merely a pleasant backdrop for Christmas shopping expeditions. Here, the roads get covered and you just WAIT for the day to come when the snow melts and the roads dry up. This could be tomorrow; it could be in mid-March.

Bad Mom alert: Notice neither of my children has boots. Neither do I. What's my problem?

Misery, thy Name is PINEAPPLE

2008-12-15T16:26:00.000-08:00

Here is a photo of my last happy pineapple-eating experience. Now, here is my story: I am, for the most part recovered from the food nightmare that was last week, and I will share this information as a Public Service Announcement in the hopes that I will be able to save one other poor soul from the godawful pain that I have experienced in the last week.

Last Sunday, not yesterday, but the week before, I was in Costco shopping around for the usual - a giant box of oatmeal, a few flannel shirts, a 40-pound bag of dog kibble and a case of spendy Italian fizzy water. My eyes wandered, as they are wont to do, and landed upon a display of perky looking whole pineapples direct from Costa Rica. My mind flashed back to happy days spent lolling about the house in Molokai, drinking coffee in the morning and tossing back oversized chunks of juicy pineapple. I thought it would be fun to spend the $3.89 to allow the rest of my family to share in the joy-inducing flashback.

The next morning, Maggie woke up and said, "Mama, I want to watch a show." I said, "How about we have something to eat instead. Would you like some oatmeal??" She said, "No, I want some of THAT" - pointing, of course, to the pineapple on the kitchen counter.

"SURE!!" I said, and whipped out the giant kitchen knife. In no time at all, I had sliced, diced, divvied up pieces... Well, shortly thereafter, my mouth began to feel as if I had either stuck a hot poker between my lips and sucked on it like the wrong end of a mammoth lit cigarette or contracted some rare disease that involved turning my spit into caustic acid and my taste buds into tiny sponges. Eating became something to be dreaded. Suddenly, before putting anything in my mouth, I did a quick mental assessment of it's potential crunchiness (because things like chewed crackers felt like they were cutting into my tongue) and it's approximate acidity. Wine? Too acidic. Tomatoes? No. Spinach? No. Even milk - "Lactic acid? Will that hurt?"

So, as we know, Google is our friend. I searched "tongue pain" - and soon, without prompting, saw the word "pineapple" - Until then, I had not traced the potential cause of the misery - I didn't know if I was contagious. I didn't know if it would ever get better.

Apparently, pineapple - especially unripe pineapple - has something in it called Bromelain, which can be used as a meat tenderizer, and I had tenderized my tongue (well). When I say that I will never eat pineapple again, I am not being overdramatic. I read that I could expect the pain to last from 7-10 days, and it did. I went to Costco this past Saturday. Somewhere between the electronics and the cheese, I saw a kind-looking middle-aged man with a fresh pineapple in his cart. I seriously had to (silently) yell at myself inside my head to keep me from throwing my body into his cart and covering up that pineapple like it was a live grenade. I wanted to save the man, but then I realized that I wouldn't be able to do that if they kicked me out of the store for harassing the other customers. So, I let him go and I said a little prayer for his tongue health.

Bounty of the Pacific Northwest

2008-12-10T21:12:00.001-08:00

The other night, I was wandering around Fred Meyer before dinnertime while Jay stayed home with the kids. I was unenthusiastically approaching the seafood counter to see what might tempt me when the seafood lady made a storewide announcement - "Good evening, Fred Meyer shoppers. Tonight in our seafood department, we have some great dungeness crab for $2.99 a pound. Come over and pick some up for dinner!"

I did not grow up a seafood lover nor do I have the innate appreciation for all foods native to this part of the country that those born here often possess. I did not eat any seafood besides canned tuna and fish sticks until college - but I have come around, and as I approached the plump crabbies sitting on ice behind the counter, I started to salivate just a little.

I called Jay, who suggested that we get 3, knowing that the girls would not eat crab but figuring that we might want a spare. I brought them home (all $13 of them or so), steamed them over a little thyme and fresh lemon, grabbed a big bowl and a nutcracker and got to work prying out the huge, tender, tasty chunks of crab meat (no dipping in butter required for these guys).

I got mine for $2.99 a pound, but here's a link I found where you can get four 2-pound crabs delivered right to your door for only $140. This does not include $15 shipping. Yeah, you'd really want to be sure to enjoy those crabs.

I didn't pause to take a photo before we ate - I had to dig in while it was hot! I got a photo online (Photo courtesy PDPhoto.org) that shows the succulence!

I'm feeling quite spry. Thanks for asking!

2008-12-10T07:55:00.001-08:00

Mags is just sitting eating a yogurt while I mess around at the laptop. Just to keep my finger on the pulse of the morning, I ask: "How are you doing, Mags?"

Mags: "I'm just eating my yogurt."

Me: "I know. I asked HOW you're doing, not WHAT you're doing."

Polite Mags: "Oh! I'm doing very well, thanks! And you?" (In her most proper and articulate British accent)

Cranky Monday - Bah Humbug.

2008-12-08T21:23:00.000-08:00

I am going through a phase where the thought of spending entire days with the girls makes me cranky. I can identify why this is. Let me use today as an example:

6:45 AM - Coffee is brewing. Maggie emerges from the bedroom part of the house. "Hi Mama! I want to watch a show."

Me: "Good morning, Mags. Did you have a good sleep?"

Mags: "Yes. Can I watch the first Princess Diaries?"

Me: "Not right now, Mags. We need to have breakfast. Maybe read a book. And get dressed. We could draw on the chalkboard... or make Christmas cards!."

Mags: "I want a cookie, and I want to watch a movie on the television."

And, so, here you have it. It is still black as a pit outside, and before ingesting ANY coffee, I am faced with a choice: Give my child (and later, of course, her younger sister) over to the television for a big chunk of the day OR say NO to the TV and face not only the wrath of a four-year old (and her surprisingly creative attempts to act out passive aggressively in response to the fact that I have dared to assert my parental will upon the house) but also the challenge of entertaining them both by myself for the entire day.

Today: NO TELEVISION. (Grrrrr!!!) I made the decision in part because I knew I had to teach Jazzercise tonight, and I am pretty sure that once I leave for class, the TV goes on pretty quickly. And really, it's getting a little ridiculous. I have one of those children who can recite more movie lines than I can. Someday, a cute boy may find her ability to quote Shrek after burping appealing... ("Better out than in - that's what I always say!") BUT, wait, who am I kidding - that'll be the geeky boys who think quoting movies is cute - but I digress...

So, without the TV and with Ellie added to the mix, it's just a matter of time before Ellie is screaming like her fingernails have been forceably removed from her little hands because her big sister has (choose one: stolen her stuffed monkey, fed her breakfast to the dog, refused to kiss her on demand, turned her bedroom light off without permission, tried to give her an injection with a ballpoint pen, told her that she needs to go sit in the naughty corner.) While she cries, Maggie will either be standing a foot away from my face with her hands on her hips screaming, "Mama!!! Tell Ellie to BE QUIET!!!" or she will be hiding under a comforter/under the desk in the office/in her room with the door closed with a cough drop/my makeup/a package of Smarties from KinderCare because it was Lauren's birthday and it was in the treat bag her mother supplied to every pre-schooler in the building. Then, certainly, there will be magic markers (often Sharpies) - and probably tape, perhaps glue, and very likely scissors (probably not the kids' kind). Princess dresses will be donned, spilled upon, cried over - and on extra special days - peed or crapped upon. If said dress is soiled, there will be a complete and very emotionally draining (for all involved) breakdown when it is not available to wear at naptime. Lunch will not be cookies and candy canes, so I will again be vilified before naptime. Then, hopefully, we will eat something and Ellie will need a new diaper. The need for a diaper change gets us all into the back of the house, and then it's a relatively easy transition to books, songs, naps and my inner countdown until Jay comes home, we eat dinner, I go out for an hour or so of freedom at Jazzercise and return to a hefty glass of wine.

I do clearly remember days during the summer when I felt like a good mom on non-KinderCare days. On those days I know we had reading time, craft time, outdoor exercise time, nutritious lunches - even morning and afternoon snacks. EVEN, dare I say, field trips - anyone remember posts about blueberry picking or picnic lunches at Lewisville Park? Well, that stuff's in the crapper in December. I must go to bed now: I have just finished my wine in total silence after getting home from class to make sure Mags didn't hear me and call me into her room to tell her a story and snuggle (read: suck me into the great black hole of time and bedtime procrastination) before she goes to sleep. Trust me, I enjoy a snuggle as much as the next girl, but her father is completely capable of providing her with all of the story-reading and affection she needs to get off into Dreamland. Seriously.

Direct Line to the Big Guy

2008-12-05T15:48:00.000-08:00

I am enjoying parenting right now. I don't usually play alot of mindgames with the tots, but I am finding it refreshing to keep my cool and pull another authority figure into the equation this holiday season. I doubt I'm causing permanent damage...

This afternoon, Mags had a shower in our bathroom and then sat on our bed trying to avoid having me comb out her hair before naptime. Rather than fighting her, I was ignoring her antics and doing a sodoku puzzle on a little bench near the floor. All at once, I heard the sound of well, I wasn't sure what - you could tell there was a little friction - and that the noise was of the nefarious variety. It was definitely the sound of naughtiness in action, or, in common terms, blue ballpoint pen on 400-thread count pillowcase.

As I sprang from my bench to see what was the matter... my darling, wrapped in her pink butterfly towel, threw herself into the fetal position among the pillows, knowing that no good was about to come of her actions.

There was only one thing for a mama to do: Call Santa.

"I'm sorry, Mags, but you know that I'm one of Santa's helpers, and it's my sworn duty to report these types of things to him. That's how he knows who to put on the naughty list and who goes on the nice list." I picked up the phone and dialed.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Don't call Santa!!! I don't want coal for Christmas! I want Santa to bring me TOYS!!!!!"

"Well, I'll see what I can do, but this is a pretty serious offense." Then Santa and I had a little conversation about how surprised we were that Maggie would be so flagrantly disrespectful and naughty so very close to the big day. While we spoke, Mags waited - eyes bulging, tears nestling into the corners of her eyes.

After I got off the phone, Maggie wanted to know if Santa was still coming to our house and if so, was he planning to bring her coal. (I am as certain as I can be that she has no concrete knowledge of what coal might be, but it's working for us.) I told her that I didn't know - it would depend on how she acted between now and Christmas and whether or not there was a big ink stain on the pillowcase when he came to visit.

So, it was a somber and repentant Maggie that let me comb through her gnarled hair. But, she recovered in time to beg to wear one of my nighties for naptime. As she got dressed, I went into the laundry room to douse the pillowcase with Spray and Wash. She came in, whining - "The straps are too long! I need you to fix them!"

"Maggie, for goodness' sake! Can't you see what I'm doing here?! I'm trying to clean the pillowcase and SAVE CHRISTMAS! You'll have to dress yourself."

When we got into her room and I was snuggling her into bed for nap, we heard the sound of Jay's footsteps in the house. Mags grabbed my arm - "DON'T ASK PAPA!!!"

"What?"

"Don't ask Papa that I was naughty!"

"You mean don't TELL Papa that you were naughty?"

"Yes. Don't tell Papa!"

...as if Papa is the one who helps Santa out around this house.

Preschool Question of the Day

2008-12-04T10:59:00.001-08:00

First off, let's just say that today is pajama day and Mags asked me to take her picture at KinderCare. Since she usually screams "NO PICTURES!" and hides her face, I obliged, and here she is. Now, the answers to the daily question at KinderCare always amuse me. Maggie's answer almost always comes toward the bottom of the list and is a totally appropriate response. For example, the previous day's question was: "What does a dentist do?" Maggie, being very thoughtful and logical said, "He fixes your teeth."

I very clearly remember when I was younger that I was described as "the girl who never has to ask questions and look stupid because she knows that if she waits long enough, someone will ask the questions that need to be asked, and then she'll find out what she needs to know and it will look like she knew all along." I have to admit that this was 100% true about me - although I think I've lightened up alot with age and now can enjoy the occasional publicly clueless moment.

That is why I was SO VERY EXCITED AND PROUD yesterday when I saw that Maggie answered the question FIRST(!) and (I'm totally sure) with enthusiasm. We've been watching the movie "Elf" ad nauseum lately, and seeing her answer made me think of when Buddy bursts into his dad's office in the middle of the very intense Miles Finch meeting and exclaims "I'm in love! I'm in love! And I don't care who knows it!!!" You see, yesterday Maggie was wearing a new pair of pink fleece pants that she loves, and I'm pretty sure she just wanted to talk about them. So, the answer was PRINCESS PANTS!!! And who cares about what the question was?

(I do think the entire class gave answers great to this one...)

Waiting for Jay to Come Back with the Bed

2008-11-23T15:13:00.000-08:00

Now that I don't have any happy Hawaii pictures to post, I've been slacking. How do you really follow a trip like that? So, now it's Sunday afternoon and we're trying to get the kids to nap - Right now I'm ignoring the sobbing that's coming from the other end of the house. It's crocodile sobs anyway. We started the day relatively aimlessly - well, I stole the Sunday crossword out of the mailbox and snuck off to Starbucks in the early morning fog while the family slept, and then Jay went to Ric's to cut some trim pieces for the outbuilding when I dragged myself back home. Maggie suggested lunch at IKEA, so off we went, arriving early enough to avoid the noon rush at the cafeteria. I'm tellin' you, $2.49 per kid and more food than they can shove down their little pie holes is NOT BAD. (Did I mention my love for IKEA? I love IKEA. Love it. I love it so much, I can actually tell you the NAMES of the products I'm buying/have bought for the outbuilding. Portis hat rack anyone? Grundtal towel racks?)

The sun is shining, it's warm and all is right with the world - except for the sobbing, previously noted. Since it's so nice out, I won't even go down the road of describing Maggie's well child visit at the pediatrician's earlier in the week - actually the trauma of it is partly what's kept me from posting, but we are relatively well recovered - physically, mentally... well, the emotional scars may stick around for a few more years, but I'm sure we'll all be fine eventually.

On a lighter note, every day at KinderCare, the teacher asks Maggie's class a question and then records every answer on a piece of flipchart paper which is then posted on the wall. They are currently "studying" their community. One of the questions was, "What's your favorite place to eat?" Some kids said, "at home." Others, "grandma's." There were "my friend's house" and "McDonald's" and "the pizza place." Do you know what Mags said? "The Coffee House." Let's just envision that Starbucks manages to survive the economic downturn. If they do, they've got one loyal 4-year old lined up for her own personalized Lifetime Starbucks Gold Card, and her name is MARGARET. Of course, I like to tell myself that Maggie enjoys eating at Starbucks most because it's time when the two of us sneak out early on the weekend and go have quality time alone over some steamed milk (for her) and a big cup of coffee (for me). It's time with me that she loves, right? Not just that I let her have milk pumped full of vanilla syrup...

The crying has subsided, so I think I may steal Jay's glass of wine that he has carelessly left on the counter. He's down the street retrieving the platform for the bed in the outbuilding. Once a place has a bed and a working toilet, it's almost as good as finished, right?

A Night of Gershwin

2008-11-17T14:44:00.001-08:00

Jay and I got out Saturday night to go to the symphony, and really enjoyed a light meal and the first half of the performance. See this link for a review. Looks like we were right when we decided the second half would probably be a let-down after the highlight of the night (no dis to Rachmaninoff). Guess we made the right choice to go home, return our babysitter to her house and get to bed. Because we are old and must be to bed before 10:30. But wow, Thomas Lauderdale was fantastic.

Molokai - The End of the Trip

2008-11-17T14:12:00.000-08:00

Col: I kind of like how the water line is not quite horizontal in this picture. That's because I had to set the timer and balance the camera on a coconut. Didn't think to bring a tripod, and it's okay that your coconut is not exactly perfect when you're using it as a camera stand.

Col: Packing and packing and hoping I didn't go over the weight restrictions on the big suitcase. I won't miss the pounding surf outside my window at night - like Mags, I find it keeps me up. Jay has the girls at the beach out back while I shove everything into bags - trying to protect seashells and keep the stuff we'll need to placate the girls on the plane tonight available. We have to be out by 10 in the morning and our flight's not till 7 tonight and on a Sunday in Molokai... I'm not sure how we're going to keep our sanity, let alone feed ourselves. Fortitude.

Day after the last day:

Jay: The last day wasn't so bad (considering it could have been a disaster). We did eventually get out around ten and I had a good talk with the housekeepeer, who told us a little more about how the cottages were run (she does a lot of the day-to-day stuff). It would be awesome to be able to stay in a place like that for the season and then have someone like her run the place while you're gone. Oh well.

The last day was spent mostly at On'e Alii Beach (version I to be precise). Not my cup of tea but the girls loved it. The water was about 80 degrees and there was minimal surf. They really tired themselves out in what was one of their best (and most active) beach experiences. We had enough time to waste to allow us to drive to the west side of the island again. We continued way past Papohaku Beach (the three mile long beach) to the end of the road. I believe the beach there is commonly called "Dixie Maru."

Thank god we went because I had completely written off the entire west side. That beach was awesome! Definitely another reason to come back. It was also the most crowded beach: there were at least ten other people on the beach when we were there (See the photos above of the beach and the parking lot).

After a quick stop at the Molokai Pizza Cafe (best dining in town - and kiddie cars!), we started "The Journey." Actually, it wasn't all that physically draining for me since both girls decided I had contracted Hansen's Disease and would not come near me for almost the entire flight. Ellie threw a fit that could easily have been diagnosed as a grand mal seizure. Fortunately, screaming at the top of her lungs for ten minutes after almost 14 hours without much meaningful sleep meant a hard crash on the plane. Col had to contort herself into unnatural positions to support both girls but she proved up to the task and was even a good sport about driving me into work this morning.

Work: I've had two people call me Grizzley Adams and one person called me a Yeti. The entire system office is wondering what kind of relaxed dress code Cam is maintaining in Legal Services.

I missed my birthday cake at the office.

Col: I agree that the last day was actually pretty fun - applying the whole laid back "we're not in a hurry to get anywhere" mentality. Kind of important when you have nine hours to drive to an airport that's 15 miles away. Jay neglected to mention the casualty that occurred at On'e Alii Beach - After we had enjoyed finishing off our Pipeline Coffee Porters, I was following the girls around taking some pictures (because that's what I do), Ellie dropped her glasses on the sidewalk leading to the little wahines room. And then I stepped on them. And broke them.

The flight from Molokai to Honolulu was great fun for Ellie - Maggie sobbed the whole time, "I don't want to leave Molokai!!! I want to go back to our green house!!!" We just kind of let her serve as our family spokesperson. Jay and I kind of agreed that there's nothing we were really psyched to run home to. We'll be back.

The wait for the flight to PDX was long - and the girls got visibly more and more exhausted so that by the time we got on the flight, the breakdown from Ellie was not a total surprise - it was just a matter of how one of them was going to decide to express her exhaustion to the world. It was really not fun to contort myself as Jay described above - at one point, I actually tried making myself comfortable in the 8-inch-wide foot area below the seats, as the girls spread out to fill every inch of seat room. At least they got some rest. Next time, we'll definitely try to avoid the red-eye - even if it means getting ourselves to Maui for a night or something and flying from there. Really glad we kept this little journal! (Thanks for indulging us by putting up with all of these posts... Kind of feels like now that I've got it all on the blog that the vacation is really over. Bummer.)

Ellie can be Ariel...

2008-11-13T17:42:00.001-08:00

What?!?! Yesterday, the girls were playing and I said something about being a mermaid, and Maggie announced that Ellie could pretend to be the Little Mermaid. (If Maggie made the rules, she would only allow Ellie to play with toys she didn't want anymore and pretend to be princesses that she classifies as minor royalty...) This power shift is far bigger news at our house than the election results: the sleeping princess raised by fairies without knowing her true birthright has replaced the finned redhead from under the sea at the center of Maggie's universe.

A few weeks ago, as America started receiving its holiday gift catalogs, we got one from a company called eToys. Maggie saw it, perused it, and selected the page of her dreams. (This is how she talks these days - "Mama, will you be the prince of my dreams?") So, she's obsessing about the Disney Princess Sleeping Beauty Styling Head Vanity Set and Accessories. And the Disney Princess Royal Cash Register. And the Disney Princess Shoes 4-Pack - basically, she's chosen page 82. All of it.

She carries her catalog with her wherever she goes. Today when I picked her up at KinderCare, Ms Danielle said, "Maggie and I looked through her catalog today. She flipped through all of the pages until she got to the one she liked, and then she just sat there stroking it." Needless to say, Santa's gotta come through with the vanity with the little styling head or the world will end before 2009. So, Santa's elf who lives at our house did a little research and found that the vanity which lists for $89.99 in the eToys catalog can be had for $30 LESS at Target. (Yay, Target!) So, it's already hiding somewhere at our house. But, back to the point.

Ariel reigned in this house for a LONG time. Maggie's first true love in Princessdom. But no more. Now, instead of lying face up in the bathtub and arranging her wet hair around her head like a floating mane of mermaid locks, she lays out a blanket on the floor, lies down, covers herself with another blanket, lies frightfully still, closes her eyes and calls me to come be the Prince of Her Dreams, kiss her and wake her up. (In this photo, note the tiara that she got yesterday at the dentist resting on her little blonde princess head.)

I never actually returned the Sleeping Beauty video that I got at Costco last month because I had a little inkling that she might come around. Fun times here. I think this year I'm just going to give in to the whole princess thing and allowing us all to embrace our girly sides. Ack. The only little thread that I'm hanging on to is the fact that at least she's not pretending she's Barbie. And she doesn't know anything about High School Musical. Or Hannah Montana. God help us.

Cracking the Nut that is My Daughter's Mind

2008-11-12T14:38:00.000-08:00

When we got home from Hawaii, Maggie started doing this totally weird thing every time we tried to put her to bed. We'd get her ready, and then she'd go into this frenzy, emptying her room of pretty much anything she could get her hands on - clothes that were on the floor, random books, small pieces of furniture - even wayward ponytail holders. It was just a bit disturbing in a "what's wrong inside her head" kind of way. We tried things like, "If you leave it in the hall overnight, it will be gone in the morning..." and she'd say, "Okay, I don't want it anymore." This was true of things that had value - both sentimental and $$$. For those things - say a special handmade quilt, when I asked if for sure she wanted me to get rid of it, she'd say, "Can you please put it somewhere safe for me in case I want it when I get bigger?" So, there's a bunch of stuff that's been put away for safe keeping - all the while, Jay and I have been mystified over what seemed to be our daughter's desire to live out her preschool years in the style of a monk who's taken a vow of poverty.

Last night, she said something that stopped me dead in my tracks, made me sit down on the spot and have a Mommy A-Ha Moment: She told me she's been cleaning out her room to make space for her big girl bed. I asked her to repeat herself. She did. If I had been videotaping my face, I'm sure that a giant lightbulb would have appeared over my head. When we were in Hawaii, she and Ellie slept in twin beds (when they weren't sleeping in our bed with us...) I have been floating the idea of a full bed to her - her toddler bed converts - and I guess she just decided to clean the kid stuff out and get the ball rolling. Whew. She's not totally weird.

Although... on a different topic, we went back to the dentist today with the completely ambitious and crazy goal of getting her teeth polished AND x-rayed. We dropped Ellie at KinderCare and drove over. Mags was EXCITED because she actually had a positive experience the last time we were there (she got lots of cheap toys from China, but it's all about quantity, not quality when you're four.) So, we got there and Siobhan the hygienist WASN'T THERE. But the lovely Vera was. (So, let's throw our progress the last time out the window and start all friggin' over.) Unless we want to come back - because, as I was told, "we need to keep Maggie's best interest in mind." Maggie was totally UNCOOL with trusting her chompers to Vera, but stronger than her complete distaste for the kind Vera was her unconquerable and undeniable NEED to get her little body into the Toy Closet. And to get to the Toy Closet, you must actually commit to going through with the visit. Poor Vera was on the verge of giving up when I decided that I would try leaving the room. As soon as Mags had ascertained that I really could no longer see her - "I don't want anyone to look at me..." , she hopped up on the chair, started chatting, laughing, telling stories and opening her mouth while Vera not only brushed her teeth, but also polished her teeth, did a fluoride treatment on her teeth, flossed her teeth, and yes, took not one but something on the order of FIVE x-rays. All the while, I was seated on a chair fit for a three year old behind the wall dividing the "treehouse room" from the "underwater room" trying not to move for fear of throwing off the delicate balance in the universe that was allowing all this action to take place. Of course, once the dentist came in, Vera and I had to leave because when Maggie opens up to talk, she doesn't want anyone to watch. As soon as Vera and I left, Mags started talking to the dentist. I heard things like, "Look at all the stuff I got!" as she showed the dentist her take from the Toy Closet. Then I heard, "The other dentist said I could go back to the Toy Closet and get more stuff!" So, we left with THREE light-up tiaras, various plastic baubles, and enough brushes, floss, and toothpaste to clean the teeth of a village of children for the next six months.

No cavities, all is well... We'll see how she does in six more months. But rock on Dr. Shebani and her people. Once we get done, it is nearly impossible to get her out the door. They are all about, "Stay as long as you want!" It is like a freakin' toy store paradise in there - while Mags was playing following her visit, the "Toy Man" was there unpacking giant boxes from Pottery Barn Kids and letting Mags have first dibs at the new toy refrigerator, shopping cart, toy food (which was actually very nice, although I'm sure frighteningly expensive)... Why would a kid want to leave? Which, I suppose is the point.

Molokai - Day Nine (Saturday)

2008-11-10T09:04:00.000-08:00

Note from Col: Ellie has become a coffee fiend like her mother. This morning, she sat there by the coffee pot asking for "fockie." "FOCKIE!!! More FOCKIE!!!" I gave her a few drops in her milk which delighted her and caused her to chug the milk with loud gulping noises usually reserved for frat boys downing beer through a funnel. (This video is actually from Jay's birthday, and he has just opened presents, which included the head warmer thing he's got on. It's for days when he wants to ride his bike in bad weather back at home. He did not wear knit headgear on a regular basis in Hawaii.)

Clouds have been threatening all day. When we got to the beach at the end of the Halawa Road, and Jay crossed the stream of water coming down from the waterfall and headed to the beach on the left. Shortly after they got the gecko kite aloft, a local came down in his old pick-up truck and suggested to me that I call them back. (I, of course, was just standing by the car watching Ellie sleep in her carseat and trying to look engaged and like I was enjoying it. After all, it's not like it's actually a "parking lot" there - It's a "gateway" to the beaches.) Now, when a giant, long-haired, deeply tanned Hawaiian guy approaches and suggests that you to get your family to safety for fear of a flash flood coming down from the daunting cloud-socked waterfall-fed crack in the earth, you call your family back right quick and thanks for the warning. (This article from last Sunday's Philadelphia Inquirer features Lawrence Aki, who may very well be the same guy. Or at least his brother.)

Safe from the dangers of the left beach, Mags and Jay swam for a long time in the high waves of the right black sand beach. Ellie and I walked the beach and played with Pepe, the Molokai dog - who was part pit bull, I think and part Mohican long-haired mongrel. And all casual and very cool.

After a picnic in the sun - as we watched the tide come in and the clouds alternately push to the front of and then ebb back into the triangle created by the sea cliffs - we took the road back to civilization (using the word loosely). Mags crashed in the back of the car, and we decided it was a great opportunity to get her a nap - in the car - it being only the second time she has fallen asleep in the afternoon since our arrival.

We had to go into Kaunakakai to get some Molokai coffee, sea salt and macadamia nuts (not Molokai grown because then we would have had to buy them from Purdy, the crazy nut guy) for Ric. So, the macadamia nuts are probably treated with pesticides, herbicides, fertilizers, growth hormones, conditioner, toner, latex paint, rubbing alcohol and mascara. And, the trees are probably pruned, God forbid. But the nuts are good and from Hawaii. We did spring for some 100% Molokai coffee from Coffees of Hawaii. Why, you may wonder, did we have to go to the Friendly Market today? Because, even though we have an entire day to kill tomorrow before our flight home, the grocery store is not open on Sunday. In fact, nothing is open on Sunday here - you are lucky to find stores open during business hours Monday through Friday, let alone on the Lord's Day of Rest. Of course, Maggie woke up midway to town because Ellie was SCREAMING as part of her cute way of telling us that she is tired. Unfortunately, neither child has slept since. I really hope nap time resumes once we get home. Jay mentioned today that he can't wait to get home in part, just so we can send the kids to KinderCare for a few days.

Yeah. So anyway, we saw some cool snails in the front of the house this morning, AND we saw some nenes on the Halawa Road - right in the area where it says "nene crossing" - and they were banded - and when they made noise, they said "nenenenenene!!!" - so, although we are not bird experts, we're pretty sure about this one. They looked pretty blase about the whole "jump out of the car and take our picture" thing. I wonder if they can fly and are just so well taken care of that they don't want to or if part of the problem with their endangered status is that they're unable or too stupid to fly away when in the face of potential danger. Funny, but right now, Ellie is sitting on the floor talking to herself - she's going back and forth between "Nene!!" and "Cock-a-doodle-doo!!" (There are also a fair number of chickens walking the Kamehameha V Highway in Molokai.)

Jay's Note: What's even more interesting is that when Col is in the presence of nenes, she also goes "nenenenenenenene!"

Col's Note: I'll miss watching the geckos on the windows at night and hearing them chirping from the rafters. I'll miss living in a little house that I can almost keep cleaned up - where there's a place for everything and at the end of the day, everything in its place. And, I'll miss the daily hunt for beach glass during low tide. As I was searching today, a number of different thoughts came to me about beach glass collecting that I think will definitely need to be put into words soon - before I lose the closeness I have right now to the subject. Too tired right now, and I need to get some sleep tonight before the Hell that will be tomorrow night's red eye home. And I'll miss my friends the nenes. NENENENENES!!!

Molokai - Day Eight (Friday)

2008-11-10T08:59:00.000-08:00

Note from Col: Morning trip to 20 Mile Beach (so named because it's at the 20 mile marker) down the road (our house is about halfway past marker 18). Ellie actually waded in the waves, and Jay got to do some good snorkeling.

I went into Kanaka... "Town" to get some supplies and look for some sort of souvenirs - I had in my head that I wanted to get some fabric to bring home to Jerri in the hopes that she can replicate the bedspreads they have here for all of us. So, I went to Imamura's store - after waiting around for the woman to get back from lunch and reopen and got fabric enough to do a queen, full and toddler bedspread (assuming Mags will move to a big girl bed at Christmastime). I'll take lots of pictures of the bedspread here to show Jerri. Hopefully, she'll be game. Mags actually saw the fabrics, and miracle of miracles, she expressed her love for the fabric I got for her and not one of the others. She keeps asking for "her purple thing" but I've got it all on the top shelf in our closet.

Spent a good amount of time at the beach out back this afternoon since there was no napping going on. The skies were cloudy off and on and threatening rain, but you know what happens in that kind of weather? Yep, rainbows. Not bad. And, Mags found a pet coconut to carry around. Every day we hear the song, "Gonna wash that man right out of my hair..." at least 20 times (from each girl). Usually, they use water in their act, but today Ellie decided to use sand instead.

Since the kids took no nap at all, by dinner everyone was cranky and I was stressed out (yes) because they were sitting here at the breakfast bar whining for drinks and yogurt and what have you while I was trying to cook spaghetti in a race against time before they passed out. Jay and I decided that it was in our best interest to split the girls up and sleep in different rooms with them in an attempt to get a good night's sleep. Very romantic.
The lost/last puzzle piece was found, the puzzle was completed and it has been put away. I'm glad we did it, glad we finished it and glad it is out of my sight.

Molokai - Day Seven (Jay's 39th Birthday!)

2008-11-09T09:49:00.000-08:00

Happy birthday, Jay! Tour of Coffees of Hawaii - including a mule-drawn wagon ride through the coffee plantation which the girls freakin' loved. Even Maggie was laughing and talking despite herself. Ellie, of course, wanted to sit up front and pet the mules.

Worth the cost and effort to go over to the center of the island. In fact, it was probably the best factory tour I've ever been on - very small and intimate - they even ended it with a session in their tasting room. By then, though, the girls (Ellie) had had enough, and despite the best efforts by our guide to entertain her, the bottom line is that a fussy toddler and cups of recently boiling water on a spinning table are simply not a good combination. (The post-a-nut touristy thing, not so worth it - at least for us. At one post office, they were all out of nuts, so they sent us to another that was closed for lunch from 12 to 12:30. As we put off naptime to sit and wait for the post office person to return from lunch, we got a little impatient and drove off at 12:38. I get the whole "Slow down, it's Molokai" philosophy, but I still really believe in answering the phone and being open when you're supposed to be. It's hard to hang loose with two tired kids in the car.)

A lovely late afternoon ride in the car to dinner and sunset at Hotel Molokai (where a reservation was recommended, although there were maybe oh, 20 free tables around us - and where we finally gave up trying to make a reservation over the phone because they NEVER answered...) - awesome sunset, good music, decent food, not bad service. Stray cats. Stray dog. Fidgety kids - but I have seen them behave MUCH worse, and besides, we'd snuck some more grown-up time while the kids watched Looney Tunes earlier in the day. So, really, all was fine.

Molokai - Day Six (Wednesday)

2008-11-08T20:34:00.000-08:00

Col: Didn't leave the property. Jay and Mags went to Sandy Beach for a bit. Ellie and I did puzzles and sang songs until she got tired. Jay and I are addicted to the 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle that now lives on the kitchen counter. I hope we only lose one full day to it. My back hurts from leaning over it.

Molokai - Day Five (Tuesday)

2008-11-07T14:55:00.000-08:00

Col: Kalaupapa Overlook (where you can see the town that served as the colony for the unfortunate souls with leprosy - and Father Damien. There is no road to the town - riding down switchbacks on mules is the most common way of getting there - and the remaining residents, who have chosen to stay there, prohibit anyone under age 16 from visiting... so no trip to the former leper colony for us). Mags took some of these pictures!

Also, there's another trail at the Kalaupapa Lookout that leads to THE MOST MAGNIFICENT PHALLIC ROCK IN HAWAII - because there are so many. Kind of like the largest ball of twine in Kansas. I do believe that Molokai also boasts the largest lined reservoir in Hawaii - or the US - or maybe the world. Oahu may have Waikiki and Pearl Harbor. But they don't have the phallic rock. (Anyway, I don't for a minute doubt the power of the thing, so I'm hoping the fact that Mags is only 4 means we don't have to worry about becoming grandparents just yet.)

We also went to Purdy's Macadamia Nut Farm today, but I'm going to let Jay write about the nut farm. He needs to get it all out as therapy. Let's just say that I don't think it's coincidence that the word most associated with the guy who runs the macadamia farm is "NUTS."

Jay: what a bummer. I know the guy who owns and runs the place must mean well or else he wouldn't open the place to tourists for free (god knows nothing else in Hawaii is free). But really, you have to be a little less . . . oppressive. Great, it's all natural and we get to see the nut in its natural environment. It's wonderful to know that the nuts are harvested 12 months out of the year (or is it just 11 like the flier says?). But if we don't have any deeply insightful questions about macademia nuts, don't keep harping on about the need to ask questions. Especially when we are trying to herd our two children, who don't give a shit about your nuts. And don't you visitors dare ask any questions about a topic he may have already addressed. And god forbid you make a light comment about being around later in the week if you experience some divine inspiration and come up with a question after you leave. Because you are visiting a working farm and they don't have time. Except if they are taking the time to try to educate the stupid haole. If there are so many interesting questions to ask about the nuts, wouldn't they have been asked (and answered) a million times already, thereby giving you the ability to preemptively give us the information? I should have asked that question. I thought I had gotten past this experience. But here I am writing this 36 hours after we returned to The Prairie and here I am as vitriolic as ever. Gotta relax.

Col: Did I mention that a GIANT FUCKING CENTIPEDE SCARED THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME? I saw him slither across the floor as I snuck out of bed to see who got booted from Dancing with the Stars (and because I still had to take my medicine - Note to drug developers: Can't we do better than a ten day course of penicillin for strep throat?) Of course, he went right under the TV and into the stack of kids' toys and books. I immediately went into a cold sweat, unbarred the sliding door and tried to dislodge him from his hiding place with the giant PVC pipe that we use to wedge the door closed. He was nowhere to be found, and my family was asleep. I tried to wake up Jay to get him to agree that it was scary and then to tell me that we were in no actual danger. He was kind of less than responsive. Then, I saw the fucker again on the wall of our bedroom - he was heading east, apparently. I grabbed Jay with a death grip on the left ankle and demanded that he rise up and kill the beast. He said, "It's just a gecko." I hissed, "That is NO fucking gecko." It looked all psychedelic colored and like the caterpillar in Alice in Wonderland except not all trippy and much more sinister. Jay grabbed the waste basket from the bathroom and somehow, with the delicacy of a black lab sent to retrieve a fallen bird, he plucked it from the wall, lowered it into the waste basket with a wisp of toilet paper and handed me the trash. "Put it outside." And with that he was back to sleep. I am not kidding when I say I about passed out trying to carry the STILL VERY ALIVE (for some reason) centipede out to the wilds to release it. I flung open the sliding door and cast out the be-legged varmint along with the toilet paper (which I reasoned was biodegradable, after all). Now I am afraid to walk in the back yard for fear of running into the big guy. Needless to say, I did not pause to take a photograph. But, he was at least five inches long and MEAN. (Here's someone else's photo/story - (Ours was bigger than 5 inches, or my name's not Mama.)

Kona Pipeline Coffee Porter

2008-11-06T10:55:00.000-08:00

Hello to a new very favorite thing: Kona Pipeline Coffee Porter. This beer will be one of the enduring memories of our trip to Molokai. It was (happily) available in just about every store on the island, and Jay and I singlehandedly supported the Hawaiian economy for a week by drinking as much as possible. Jay has since found that the bottles are actually produced somewhere in Portland since there are no bottling facilities in the islands, and I have asked our beerman in Battle Ground to order us 2 cases of the limited release stuff (which we should be able to pick up tonight).

Coffee. Porter. Together. I'm thinking it's the perfect Hawaiian definition of multi-tasking.

Molokai - Day Four (Monday)

2008-11-06T10:11:00.000-08:00

Col: Mags made it until about 5:30 in the morning, so not so bad. She is now watching Looney Tunes - and although it's mindless entertainment - it is giving me a chance to read on the deck and watch the sun rise over Maui. I just came in for another cup of coffee and she said, "Mama, do you know who I'm going to marry today? Bugs Bunny. Or Prince Eric." Bugs has reached the upper echelon.

Drove to Big Wind Kite Factory on the west end in Maunaloa. I had read in a Wondertime magazine a long time ago that this store was one of THE BEST factory tours you could take kids on. When we got to "town," it was pretty much deserted - like there should have been little Hawaiian sagebrush rolling down the street. But, we found the kite store and its adjoining gift shop open. There was a woman in the gift shop who told us to let her know if we needed help, and a man wandering around. There were no free kite flying lessons. There was no tour of any kind of kite factory. There were some really cool kites, though, and we bought a pink one with a yellow gecko.

Then we drove to the "third biggest beach in all of Hawaii!" - and the most deserted: Papohaku Beach. Although you are supposed to be able to go there and see "not another footprint!" we did see a few other people, but along the nearly three mile stretch, the density of people was truly sparse.

You can't actually SWIM at this beach because the military at some point buried all their spare barbed wire and other sharp nasties right off shore - and it's a little rocky/dicey in the surf, but there are some nice shells and the sand is beautiful. (Not planning to swim, we didn't have suits, but of course both girls ended up wet. I was able to fashion Mags a pink dress from a sarong we had with us. When we got into town to buy some supplies a few friendly people remarked on how pretty she looked. She just buried herself in my leg and let out a wimper like an abused puppy. We walked the streets of Kaunakakai practicing this drill: "When someone says you look nice, you need to say 'thank you.' Let's try: Maggie, you look very pretty today." "NO I DON'T!!" We then tried to convince her that "Mahalo" meant "No I don't!" in Hawaiian, but she didn't buy it. We're still working on this particular issue.

SCORE one for the parents. It took us a few days, but we have figured out how to have a conversation and relax while the kids are awake. Step 1: Open chilled beverage of choice. Step 2: Dress kids in swimsuits. Step 3: Take chairs to fishpond. Step 4: Instruct kids to "go play." Step 5: Sit. Drink. Relax. Observe children having fun.

Two Little Monkeys

2008-11-06T09:58:00.000-08:00

...jumpin' on the bed. One fell off and bumped her head. Mama called the doctor and the doctor said, "NO MORE MONKEYS JUMPING ON THE BED!!" Got that, Ellie?

She's fine. Just a big black and blue bump on her noggin'...

One Mama's Thoughts

2008-11-05T21:20:00.001-08:00

Dear Mags and Ellie,

I wanted to write a little entry here because I think (along with lots and lots and lots of other people in this country and around the world) that something monumentally important happened last night. We elected a new president named Barack Obama. (Mags, I know you already know how to say his name, but we really still need to work on the fact that he is going to be the President. He is not, as you keep saying, going to be Pregnant.)

Now, we don't talk much at all about politics in our house because you are from "a house divided" as far as much of that stuff goes, and Papa and I tend to vote for different people. We love each other dearly, and I totally respect that your papa has alot of information and knowledge about tons of stuff that I don't take the time to read thoroughly or internalize completely. BUT, I will tell you that I feel really good about having voted for this man. He will be the first African American president, and that is really saying something. With his election, lots of people who have felt like their voices haven't been heard and who believed that their possibilities in life were limited have been given reason to believe that perhaps they, too, CAN achieve their dreams. And, as a mom, it brings a tear to my eye when I realize that you will grow up in a world where it will be a matter of fact that a black person can be elected to the highest office in the land. To paraphrase something he said in his big speech in Chicago last night - "We are the UNITED States of America" - red, blue, black, white, gay, straight, city, country... UNITED. And, for the first time in a long time, it felt really good deep down inside me to be a part of that. I felt proud - and excited.

The other thing I'm feeling is HOPE. Hope for the future. Our country's in a bit of a bad way now (to put it mildly), and Barack Obama will have a job to do that I don't envy even a little bit. I don't know how he'll go about it or how successful he'll be, but I know this: MILLIONS of people are feeling that same hope. People are engaged. People are talking. People care. And, people want things to be better. I believe that with that much of a positive force behind him - and with so much of the world willing him to succeed - Barack Obama will be able not only to do great things, but also to inspire others among us to dream big, work hard and maintain a persistent belief in our ability to make a better world.

I don't think I've ever before invoked God on this blog, but I feel like saying "God Bless America," and I think I might just say a prayer for our president-elect's good judgement, wise counsel and personal fortitude.

Love, Mama

Molokai - Day Three (Sunday)

2008-11-05T14:33:00.000-08:00

Col: Drove to the end of the Halawa Road (I think I read somewhere that Halawa means curvy) today and found a nearly deserted black sand beach. Aside from being a little worried about the security of our car - especially when Ellie was asleep in it for a while - and when Mags and Jay had gone off swimming at an adjacent beach and left Ellie and I stranded on the beach watching a group of large Hawaiians surrounding our car as they drank soda and made merry - it was awesome. Jay and Mags went in the water for long enough to cause Mags to crash at about 6:30 at night before dinner. I introduced Ellie to the fine art of shell collecting - lots of limpits, some cowries - even a small olive shell - and a multicolored lobster shell.

When we got back, naps were a trouble again, so eventually we all went in the water out back in the fish pond (yes, those pictures below are really from our "back yard" beach). It was seriously like a bathtub - warm water and no surf, although a little tough on the feet with all the coral. Really glad to get Ellie in the water. Mags has some sort of cold sore or something on her tongue which occupies her mind whenever nothing more interesting does - mostly when we're just riding in the car. It does not make for pleasant conversation - "Maamaaa, my tongue hurts...." That Halawa Road was freaky.

I have been up alone for over an hour and a half - and it is just 9 PM. We've now finished 3 days of cooking completely for ourselves - tonight was a nice piece of beef and some lemon garlic shrimp and baked potatoes - but not for Mags. I wonder what time she will wake up crying from hunger. I'd best get to bed.

Molokai - Day Two

2008-11-05T14:13:00.000-08:00

Col: A rainy start to the day meant heading to town early for the farmer's market (the take: 3 papayas - I think - green onions, unripe tomatoes, "apple bananas", a truly unidentifiable green thing that is supposed to break apart and be sweet, 2 loaves of bread from the famous 10:30 PM bread run bakery - since we will never be up that late, and two free stuffed animals that Ellie selected from a basketful a kind lady had put out on the street.)

Still rainy on this end of the island when we got back so we read a bit and - alas - put on a movie.

The kids were tired and Jay took Ellie into the kids' room to nap at about noon. It's now nearly 3, and I have finally won the battle of wills with Maggie (see the photo of her sleeping feet in the bedroom). I wonder how long her nap will last being that it was three hours in the making? Regardless, getting naptime to work properly (or even improperly) is key to this vacation working well. It's the only way we'll be able to get the girls on island time, and I personally do not want to spend the next 8 days getting up at 4:45 AM.

One more thing on that - we got the kids to sleep all right last night, but I am a parent in a state of constant unease. While our proximity to the crashing surf is lulling Jay to sleep like a baby, to me it is nothing other than a potential siren song calling our babies outside to the sea. We have no way to lock the front door so the kids can't escape. Mags does not like the sound of the surf, and Ellie doesn't like the water, but both are fascinated by the new surroundings (a road is about 10 feet outside the front door in the opposite direction). Last night, I finally piled suitcases across the hallway in the hopes that if anyone wanted out, we'd hear them trying to break through. So, basically, I haven't gotten any good sleep since I must maintain my role as sentry. Jay says I'm like a CIA agent who can hear the sound of a pin dropping from 30 feet away.

Ellie and Cinderella

2008-11-04T15:49:00.001-08:00

When I was uploading photos into the "Molokai - Day One" post, I took another look at this video and decided it was worth the pain in the ass of putting the video on YouTube and embedding it. This child cracks me up every single day, and I need to share. I love how she oh-so-carefully puts her hands in the correct position when she grabs Cinderella.

The "Glasses" Half-Empty

2008-10-31T20:29:00.000-07:00

On our last day of vacation, Ellie put her little glasses down on the sidewalk, and following along behind her, I stepped on them and broke them. We had been planning to exchange the glasses for a different pair - even though we loved them, they slid down her nose constantly. So, we went today to choose a pair with adjustable "nose pads" or whatever they're called. Tonight we went back to pick them up. After having them painstakingly fitted by the friendly LensCrafters guy, she proceeded to break them in the car on the way home. Not to be over-dramatic or anything, but that kind of crap sends me over the edge into Mean Mommy territory. She was skating on thin ice until at bedtime, she spit her toothpaste into the sink for the first time for me (oh, the milestones we celebrate here...) and then sang "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" with her angelic little voice while looking me right in the eye. Then, she polished off bedtime with her new secret weapon - She told me she loves me. Yeah, we'll get the glasses fixed.

Molokai, Day One

2008-10-31T17:55:00.000-07:00

Prologue:

First off, a big thank you to Ellie's Temporary Airplane Grandma from Boise. She, and her husband in the window seat, successfully entertained/were entertained by Ellie. We had purchased a row of three seats and one across the aisle. I figured Jay and I would split time in the spare seat to spell ourselves as we co-parented for 6 hours at 35,000 feet. But, given the fluid nature of family airplane seats on a trans-Pacific flight, Ellie ended up being the one best suited to the single seat. She quickly engaged the woman next to her, covered the kind soul with stickers and ate all of the Temporary Grandma's trail mix. The cool part of it was that the woman actually enjoyed it.

Okay... Now, here's the uncut, unedited journal from the trip -

Day One:

Note from Jay: removing geckos from wet bathtubs is challenging. Best to use two combs facing one another (think Venus flytrap). Just be careful not to skewer the little guys.

Note from Col: My heart has officially stopped and my limbs have turned to jelly for the first time as Ellie used the cheap plastic chairs on the deck to climb up onto the railing and come THISCLOSE to launching herself 10 feet down into the back yard. We have calculated that she is within one month of Maggie's age when she threw herself down the long, dark staircase head-first in San Diego. JACK-JACK-ATTACK!!! (Do we sound like bad parents?)

Note from Col: Got Mags a 2.5 foot Cinderella doll for a steal when the Disney Store went out of business and managed to hide her in my closet until Maggie's birthday. Her dance card is going to be full for this whole trip, I can tell, with her suitors lining up for a spin with her. Right now, Mags is out lighting the fire for dinner with Jay, and Ellie is taking advantage of some alone time with our favorite princess. If only one could make oneself un-dizzy by spinning in the opposite direction.

Happy Halloween - Trying to Get Back to Normal

2008-10-31T17:51:00.000-07:00

After a ten-day vacation, it's kind of hard to settle back in - especially when you've worked hard to slow down and do the whole "aloha spirit" thing... and when you have a ton of pictures you're sorting through... and when Daylight Saving Time is about to end and the rains are starting - and you're just waiting for darkness to descend upon the prairie for the next half year.

Jay and I kept a good journal while we were gone, and my plan is to share it with corresponding photos. That's my plan - I'll keep you posted.

Where's Ellie Been?

2008-10-15T22:57:00.000-07:00

Here she is! Maggie took this one at some point - It's the least of what happens when I leave them alone in the office near the computers and with access to cordless telephones.

A lovely shot of her running away down the driveway in her nightgown with not a single look back. And when I say running, I'm not speaking figuratively.

Here she is after the AWOL police chased her down and stuck her in the naughty corner.

Here's one on KinderCare picture day looking like a 5th grader.

...and showing off her kicky pink boots.

...and proving that there's more than one princess in this here house.

We're having some trouble keeping her glasses from slipping down her nose, which means she spends alot of time looking over the tops of them - Oddly (for a child of ours), I think she's too young to appreciate the sense of utter disdain she could convey with that kind of look. As perfect as the glasses are and as much as she completely unabashedly adores them, we may have to switch to a pair with adjustable nose pads so we can squeeze them on her little proboscis.

Little Sister

2008-10-15T16:13:00.001-07:00

I totally get that if a) Ellie could read and b) she actually looked at this website and c) she had a general knowledge of the Brady Bunch that lately she would be crying out "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! Why is it always Marcia?!" Yes, the little one has been scarce lately. My bad. I'm going to try to fix that tonight.

Forget the Princess Dress - I'm Four!

2008-10-15T15:24:00.001-07:00

Upon getting up at 6 AM on her 4th birthday, Maggie raided my closet, stole my little black dress and grew up. After a little oatmeal for breakfast, she hopped in the car and drove up to the corner market for a bottle of pinot noir.

Here also is a picture of her cake (which we ate on Sunday). Back in those good old days, she was still into pink and princesses - so here is the world's sweetest pink cake in the shape of a castle. Although, unintentionally, it looks a little like a "castillo de cumpleanos" since my "tower," red vine door and the gumdrops make the castle look a little like Dora the Explorer's house decorated for the holidays.

When Mommy is Sick

2008-10-14T17:50:00.000-07:00

...this is what Maggie dresses herself in. And, it's what her father lets her wear to KinderCare. The shirt's even on backwards, and the shoes are on the wrong feet. Sorry the picture is blurry. The camera that will be mechanically designed to take a clear photo of so many different colors and textures has not yet been invented.

The Family Pariah

2008-10-14T14:30:00.000-07:00

One sure sign that vacation is upon us (at least this year) is the coming of the Streptococcus bacteria. Sunday afternoon as I browsed the clearance clothing and accessories (at 70% off the lowest ticketed price!) at Fred Meyer, I felt a pesky twinge in the gland that it tucked into the left side of my throat. Although I continued my shopping, including scoring a new pair of Teva's for Jay just in time to leave for Hawaii AND a Timex Ironman watch for me (both coming in at $17.49), I knew in my heart of hearts that the true harbinger of travel had arrived. After a long night trying to sleep while riding on a wave of ever-changing body temperatures, I made an appointment to go see the doctor. As expected, the quicky strep test affirmed that a little bacterial infection was trying to score a free trip to Hawaii.

When I got home, Jay stood in shock and disbelief when I told him the verdict. Immediately after, I was put into solitary confinement. I avoided eviction to the as-yet-unfinished outbuilding - I'm not going into isolation out there until there's a proper bed, hot water and a big TV - but I did lock myself in our bedroom last night, which made for a couple of sad little girls who may think that their mother no longer loves them because I wouldn't kiss them goodnight.

As of tonight, I should no longer be contagious, and we'll continue the ever-vigilant watch over the rest of the flock to look for telltale signs of infection. The good news is, I feel okay - just a bit tired, and although I was going to try to teach Jazzercise this morning, I was (thankfully) relieved of that duty. I have a few more hours with the kids at KinderCare before I have to go into hiding again...

Her Prerogative

2008-10-10T09:03:00.000-07:00

The other day I was doing my zombie walk through Costco - wandering aimlessly with my mouth hanging a little agape vaguely looking for something for Maggie's birthday along with a giant box of pumpkin and flaxseed granola and enough cinnamon to last until the end of days. I settled on the new 50th anniversary edition of Sleeping Beauty, complete with a little pink pillow door hanger that says "The Princess is In" and "The Princess is Out" on opposing sides. Our kid video collection needs a transfusion, and Maggie seems fond of Briar Rose/Aurora/Sleeping Beauty/Whatever her name is. I bought it and left it in the back of my car to wait for her birthday.

That very night, I was putting Maggie to bed. We had gone through the nightly book selection process which begins with "pick one from up high" on the bookshelf and then includes me reading off a long list of titles, pausing long enough for Maggie to say, "no, not that one" in between. We finally agreed on a paperback Ariel/Aurora fall-themed double-feature that has the little mermaid taking part in an underwater fall fishy festival and Aurora getting lost in the woods and singing songs with a little bluebird. On the back book cover, there is an advertisement (which I have never noticed) for the Sleeping Beauty movie. With no prompting at all, Maggie looked at that back cover and the small picture of the video on it and said, "I NEVER want to see that movie."

"You never want to see that movie, Mags?"

"No, never. Look - it has a bad dragon in it. And it looks like there's a mean witch, too. See?"

"Well, yeah, but I see a prince, too!"

"Yes, but he probably has to fight the mean dragon."

"So, you really don't want to ever see it?"

"Nope, I don't think I do."